Turns out that Ohio State coach Thad Matta had to teach guard William Buford a little bit about his grammar. Before the Buckeyes' commanding 87-64 win over the #12 Purdue Boilermakers, turns out Matta lectured Buford about his ellipses. When I saw that, I figured he was talking three pointers, launch angle and parabolas, but turns out he just didn't like too much dramatic pause in the text messages he receives.
Buford twisted his ankle in the Buckeyes’ win at Illinois on Saturday. X-rays revealed no problems and Matta dismissed it as ‘nothing major’ on the Big Ten conference call on Monday. Still, the coach wanted to make sure Buford was all right before the team’s shootaround on Tuesday.Yes, young William, your coach doesn't want the follow-up text to read something like:
“I sent him a text and asked how he was feeling,’’ Matta said. “And he wrote back, ‘A little sore, dot, dot dot.’’ I said, ‘You don’t dot dot dot me. So we had a long conversation about what dot dot dot means.’’
"A little sore...but the hangover from Four Loco is much worse."
"A little sore...so I skipped class again. Who needs it?"
"A little sore...from the tattoo I just got with #2."
So next time, just "A little sore. Nothing to worry about, I'll be there to knock down five threes" will be fine.
Turns out Ohio State knows how to use most of their punctuation, perhaps it doesn't translate to text messages. Things like:
Question mark: "Does this Michigan school we're playing next week have a football team, too?"
Exclamation point: "Pur-don't!"
Hyphen: "Yeah baby, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back wins."
Comma: "Although we love Evan Turner, this Sullinger kid is pretty good too."
Semicolon: "We beat Illini; Boilermakers were no match; Northwestern is next."
Double question mark-exclamation point sandwich: "Did they really call the divisions Legends and Leaders?!?"
Parenthesis: "Have you seen the new Miley Cirus song (Jared Sullinger remix)?"