Sunday, November 15, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Steelers today

Cleveland Browns vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
November 15, 2015

Browns 23, Steelers 13

Every piece of evidence says don't pick the Browns here. But I'm a moron. And I haven't decided that Manziel sucks beyond a reasonable doubt. Because until he plays a few games, there is reason to have some hope.

Steelers 38, Browns 13

I can make it easy for you, Manziel sucks beyond a reasonable doubt. No other team in the league is so hesitant to start QB2, unless the starter is named Tom Brady. The Browns either do not like him as a person, or they know he isn't good, and are trying to preserve his limited trade value by not playing him. Enjoy the nice weather today and get outside.
Steelers 20, Browns 10

Another step in this season's slow march to oblivion. Even with the Big Puffy-Faced Frat Boy out with injury, the Browns are lacking at too many positions to make this a game. Expect a big day from DeAngelo Williams, and a...small day from whoever the Browns trot out at quarterback..
Steelers 20, Browns 13

The Browns offense sucks, the defense sucks, the GM is maybe the worst I've ever seen. I think the coach sucks too but who could win with this talent? However...we have a good punter! F*ck Pittsburgh! .

Browns 24, Steelers 22

Browns win for Ave's 70th birthday. All you need to know is that my first CLE sports memory is seeing Ave punch the living room piano after Red Right 88.

Steelers 24, Browns 17

"Browns are a bunch of losers" - Donald Trump

Steelers 34 Browns 14

Ronda Rousey got KO'd and my heart sank. Anything is the Browns scoring in the second half. Winning, however, is another story.

Friday, November 13, 2015

It's time the Browns stop f_cking around and start Johnny Manziel

So it's Friday before yet another Browns-Steelers game, one in which the Browns hopefully show up. And even though Coach Mike Pettine seems to know who is going to start at QB this weekend, he's not telling. Word is, however, it will be Johnny Manziel again. It's more than clear that Pettine hates Manziel, maybe as a player, maybe as a human being, I'm just not sure. And it's pretty clear to everyone that Josh McCown (while healthy) actually does give the Browns a better chance at winning--this year. Hey guys, McCown's not that bad!

This is the warmest look Pettine has ever given Manziel.
(Photo via John Kuntz/

That said, this is clearly now a long game; the Browns season is over. The charade of them being competent last year in last year's AFC South feast is now over. They sit at 2-7, all but eliminated from the playoffs, in a damn era where the Steelers and Ravens kinda suck. The Browns--the organization, no matter who voted 'yes' or 'no'--drafted Johnny Manziel in the first round a year ago. He has not been given the controls yet, and for good reason in the past. Last year was an unmitigated disaster, but this year has been far from that. He has looked downright encouraging at times, (although the all-22 analysis shows some major flaws in his game.) That said, Browns fans do not have the patience for the team to just give up on Manziel and spend another top pick on a QB next year without running him through the paces.

Start Manziel now and for the rest of the year. If he sucks, at least we'll know it. If McCown starts and wins the rest of the games, he may save Pettine's 2015 season, but not the Browns'. And that old guy isn't the future. The Browns need a future. They just don't know if they have it yet, and Mike Pettine doesn't seem to find out, because it could mean his job. If the Browns need to order Pettine to do it, and guarantee next year's contract, do it. Just start Manziel, and then draft based on what we learn.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Bengals tonight....

Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals

November 5, 2015

Bengals 31, Browns 17

I fully expect to see some spark of life with young Jonathan Football, but  that fact is far from assured, and this week's Browns make the NBA Finals-Cavs feel like they were at full strength. That said, as much as I love Whitner and Haden, it's hard to see the defensive value they've contributed this year, so it could be an interesting week for the secondary without them. The wide receiver corps, however...

Bengals 42, Browns 10

After a short week, and a huge amount of injuries, the Browns cannot keep up with the Bengals. If the Browns were starting McCown, I feel it would be fairly close game because starting McCown doesn't get the Bengals riled up and ready to play, as its just another game. Starting Johnny though give the Bengals defense extra motivation to embarrass the Browns and Johnny on national TV.
Bengals 27, Browns 14

Underwhelming play, injuries and front office in-fighting  means it must be November in Browns Town. Johnny Manziel behind center is the only Cleveland-centric point of interest for a game that likely won't be more than a speed bump for the undefeated Bengals, short week or no. When will the hurting stop, Cleveland?
Browns 23, Bengals 17

The Browns' road record in the 2013 and '14 seasons was a combined 4-12. I attended three road games during that stretch and the Browns record was a miraculous 3-0. The first win was right after we traded Trent Richardson and gave Hoyer his first start in Minnesota, then the greatest road comeback ever in Tennessee last season, followed by the Thursday Night triumph against the Bengals. I will be in the stands in Cincinnati tonight. I'm not telling you to believe in Johnny Manziel; I'm telling you to believe in me!!

Bengals 40, Browns 12

Tomorrow marks 20 years since Art's press conference at Camden Yards. But, for some reason, the history books claim we only went three years without an NFL team...
Bengals 27, Browns 13

Today was going pretty Good then I heard Donald Trump is going on SNL and today got even better lol. Finally the world can see how funny and charming Donald is and not some loudmouth obnoxious jerk like the Boo York Slimes and other Liberal rag "newspapers" say he is.

Bengals 37, Browns 17

Browns lose a nail biter. "What's a nail biter? You should know, you bunch of losers." -Donald Trump

Sunday, November 1, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Cardinals today

Cleveland Browns vs. Arizona Cardinals

November 1, 2015

Cardinals 27, Browns 23

Unlike the Buckeyes, at least the Browns don't have their starting quarterback involved in an alcohol and moving vehicle situation.

Cardinals 28, Browns 17

Trade winds are actually blowing and time on the 2015 season is running out. Time to reset again, it seems. How the Browns sell yet another reset will be laughable. At least they have fancy new uniforms and the Dawg Pound, I guess.
Cardinals 34, Browns 17

Last week's pathetic performance against a mediocre Rams team was the tipping point for the 2015 season. The next three games before the bye against the Cardinals, Bengals and Steelers will officially send this franchise crashing down for another year, likely with another round of front office changes come the off-season. It sucks, but such is our lot as Browns fans.
Cardinals 24, Browns 17

I want to pick the Browns again but just can't. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me five times, shame on me. The Factory of Sadness is alive and well and I am a proud season ticket holder in this disgrace.

Cards 30, Browns 19

In a few hours, Bruce Arians will improve to 23-11 as an NFL Head Coach. He loves the Browns, Cleveland's fan base, and considered our vacancy, back in January 2013, to be his dream job. He was even calling the plays the last time we made the playoffs. Virtually every league insider believed he was a solid candidate, but our owner wouldn't even give Arians a courtesy interview.

Nothing angers me more than the helpless realization that we are cursed to reap what Hotspur Haslam sows.
Cardinals 33, Browns 17

It's looking like a beautiful day for football, but I ache for the day in Cleveland when I can say it looks like a day for beautiful football.

Cardinals 31, Browns 17

The Arizona Cardinals have never beaten the Browns at Cleveland Browns Stadium and haven't won in Cleveland since 1985, when they were the St. Louis Cardinals and Doc Brown was introducing Marty McFly to the flux capacitor. Granted, we don't see the Cardinals that often, but that is still an amazing bit of info considering the futility of our beloved team for the last decade and a half.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Grantland Gutted: Examining ESPN's Proud Embrace of our Microwave Culture

While ESPN flails and flexes, even flummoxing their critics and supporters in a late-Friday takedown of Grantland, they continue to be peculiarly frank in their press releases. Official statements from mammoth organizations are typically synonymous with propaganda, but that's when you'll find ESPN, surprisingly, at their most forthright. Consider the following sentence, point-blank from the World Wide Leader:

 "Grantland distinguished itself with quality writing, smart ideas, original thinking and fun.” 

That’s about as direct and detailed as twelve words will allow, and yet ESPN has no problem admitting their ambivalence to those concepts. They played their hand, earlier in the statement, with this admission:

"We have decided to direct our time and energy going forward to projects that we believe will have a broader and more significant impact across our enterprise.

In other words-- an enterprising, artistic, thought-provoking venture like Grantland only offers niche-appeal, and we can’t figure out a way to monetize brilliant articles and podcasts, See, our company’s mission is to extract as much revenue as humanly possibly from millions of common-denominator humans. Humans that can be click-baited into half-honest headlines about a very select group of humans with obscene Q-scores called LeBron, Tiger, LeBron, Brady/Belichick, Serena, wait, did we mention LeBron? And we want HOT TAKES, perfect for retweeting, with the bombastic, brutal, and dumbed-down finesse that you’ve come to expect from Skip Bayless and Stephen A Smith. We’ll continue to cultivate our bottom-line content by staying married to the NFL and mainstream radio hosts like Mike & Mike, reinforcing stereotypes and catch-phrases made famous by our own Berman-infested television personalities .

In fact, ESPN’s communication style has evolved into such a high degree of blunt efficiency that some of Grantland’s staff learned their fate on Twitter, of course. Same for Grantland founder and former espyn-legend Bill Simmons. The public dismissal of Simmons last May by network president John Skipper, via The New York Times, was an unprecedented level of speech-directivity in the industry:

"I decided today that we are not going to renew Bill Simmons’ contract.

Read that again. If it sounds like he woke up, took a leak, let the dog out, made an omelet, and then scratched an itch to fire the most important figure at ESPN, well, that's exactly how it was supposed to sound. Skipper had no interest in massaging the message. Ruling the world from the MotherShip is succinct business, and ESPN can't be troubled with an expectation for class journalism. Moreover, ESPN doesn't even have time to pretend to be interested in it. The separation with Simmons and suspension destruction of his greatest achievement was a blind and naked testament to the power of a 21st Century media monster with eight channels in over 200 countries. Simply, the four-letter network boasts an unapologetic, disgusting confidence derived from pure size, scope and an unyielding belief in the 48-hour news cycle.