Sunday, October 23, 2016

What CST thinks about Browns-Bengals today

                                              Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals

October 23, 2016

Bengals 31, Browns 16

Don't ruin it for us now, Browns.
Bengals 34, Browns 13

Browns struggle all day again on both sides of the ball. With a chance to tie the worst start in franchise history at 0-7, the Browns don't disappoint. When fans say they are close, turning the corner, adding good young players, they forget all that matters is wins and losses. Right now their talent isn't anywhere near good enough to overcome the seemingly weekly coaching mistakes..
Bengals 26, Browns 20

The best I can say about the 2016 Browns is they're solidly coached on the offensive side of the ball for being so overmatched talent-wise. Cody Kessler's poise and solid play lends some credence to Coach Hue "Trust Me" Jackson's Quarterback Whisperer reputation, even if the QB everyone wants is taking snaps under center for the Eagles. Meanwhile, the defense is terrible, and the already inexperienced roster is banged up beyond recognition. Covering the spread is the best we can hope for our Browns, a theme likely to last the rest of the season.
Browns 24, Bengals 21

I'm at the road game today, and I have an extremely good record on the road. Kessler shows poise again and Hue knows the right strings to pull against his former team. What the fuck does "Who Dey" mean, anyway?

Bengals 33, Browns 17

At my next CST contract renewal, remind me to tell my agent that I have no interest in picking Browns games every week.
Bengals 27, Browns 13 

My only concern about the forthcoming Trump Presidency is the possible demotion of the Browns to an NFL sub-league, something akin to the relegation rules of Premier League soccer. Donald expects Greatness in all his Works, and the Browns have been far from great since the franchise's return. Something to think about as our new Overking claims his throne in a couple of weeks.

Bengals 35, Browns 12

The organization's stranglehold on this city is loosening by the day as championship week begins. Tuesday evening will be one of the proudest moments in Cleveland sports history. Today, not so much.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

The sky isn't falling, but Indians' bats must start making some thunder

What do you make of .071, .212, .142,  and .222?

.142, .454, .250, and .333?

1, 4, 2, and 2?

Those numbers are the batting average, slugging percentage, and runs scored in Games 4, 3, 2, and 1 of the 2016 ALCS by the Cleveland Indians.

That does not look like a team still in the series.

This is a team whose best hitter hasn't played virtually all year, whose second and third starters have a broken wrist and what I presume is an amputated leg, and another starter who tried to fish a fork out of the garbage disposer, or was playing with a drone, or something.

Let's just say they are a bit short-handed, especially in the starting pitching area. If it wasn't for the wizardry of Tito Francona and the mastery of Andrew Miller and the Indians' bullpen, we could be looking at a sweep to the bad guys and blaming the offense for not showing up.

But instead, after a Game 4 loss, the Indians are still in a commanding place with a 3 games to 1 lead over the Blue Jays, with three more shots to make the World Series. This despite the Tribe starting a guy named Ryan Merritt in Game 5 Wednesday afternoon. Merritt is apparently a pitcher and not an equipment intern traveling with the team.

If it wasn't 2016, Clevelanders would be Chicken Little-ing all over the place. But we've seen the summit with the Cavs. We've seen these Indians show their mettle.

However, any time they want to start hitting would be fine by us. This tightrope Tito is walking would be a lot thicker if the offense could start delivering their side of the deal.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

What CST thinks about Browns-Titans today

Cleveland Browns at Tennessee Titans
October 16, 2016

Titans 37, Browns 13

This was a great weekend for sports. Was.

Titans 24, Browns 10

This is a "winnable" game for the Browns, but the banged up offensive line will have trouble all day. This past June and October have been so much fun sports-wise with the two other teams in town excelling. I wish it was Monday (Game 3 ALCS), 'cause Browns Sundays aren't my FunDay.

Titans 27, Browns 17

Looking at the schedule, this week's game stacked up as one of the few the Browns had a chance at winning. But an injury-decimated roster full of young, inexperienced players can't handle the Titans' strong running game and solid pass rush. The only thing to look out for is QB Kevin Hogan possibly taking some snaps, which would give the Browns six quarterbacks in six weeks. So that's something!
Titans 24, Browns 20

I originally thought this was a game the Browns could win, but the injuries are just piling up. After last week's blow-out loss, I think we return to Browns football and blow a game we could have, should have won.

Titans 26, Browns 20

Brownies are winless, the Las Vegas Vox is 1-4 and maybe the worst fantasy team in CBS Sports' history, my favorite player- Tony Romo- is injured, and I've moved on from handicapping Pro Football in order to properly focus on the EPL. I'm officially that rare, red-blooded, heterosexual American male that has no fan or financial-investment in the NFL. Ok- heterosexual was a stretch, but you get my point.

Titans 27, Browns 13

Andrew Miller may be our quarterback by mid-November, and I am okay with that.

Titans 28, Browns 12

The they've been known to do...ruin a perfect sports weekend.

Browns 56, Titans 3

The Browns' dominance ensures the game is basically over by halftime, which gives me more time to distribute and install TRUMP/PENCE signs for my entire neighborhood!

Sunday, October 9, 2016

What CST thinks about the Browns-Patriots today

New England Patriots at Cleveland Browns

October 9, 2016

Patriots 38, Browns 20 

I have a feeling the visiting team will win both Boston-Cleveland match-ups today.

Patriots 42, Browns 10

The game you need to watch today against a Boston team starts at 4. With the two other teams in town excelling in their sport, it makes me wonder how long Browns fans will accept the losing ways. The idea that this team shouldn't be 0-4, or is a good  team for 0-4 is nonsense. We are 0-4, soon to be 0-5 for a reason.

Patriots 28, Browns 20

The Browns are due to get blown out and you'd think Tom Brady's return would mark that occasion with a vengeance. However, the Browns coaching staff has prepared this young roster well all season, and I expect nothing less today. So the Browns cover a 10.5 spread and give Cleveland another Moral Victory Monday to celebrate. (Damn, that reads even sadder than it sounded in my head)
Patriots 30, Browns 13

I wish we were talking about the return of Josh Gordon today. At least we are better at baseball.

Patriots 33, Browns 20

Welcome to CLE vs. BOS Day, 2016. Bostonians may have 9 championships since 2001, but, in my career as a sports fan, we are deadlocked at 5-5, head-to-head in the playoffs. Wins: '92 and '15 Cavs, '95 and '98 Indians, '94 Browns. Losses: '85, '08, '10 Cavs, '99 and '07 Indians. Tonight, we break the tie, but not before we sacrifice another meaningless Browns game for the return of Messiah Brady.

Patriots 33, Browns 10 

The Patriots may beat the Browns today, but the REAL Patriot will be on stage tonight to thrash a certain corrupt legacy candidate with his unparalleled temperament, classiness and political acumen!  The Trump campaign continues to roll on with the momentum of a thousand semi-trucks with their brakes cut!!

Patriots 34, Browns 17

I'm sure we'd all trade a loss in Cleveland for a victory in Boston today.

Browns 24, Patriots 10

New England strikes out again in Cleveland. 

Sunday, October 2, 2016

What CST Thinks about the Browns-Washington today

Browns at Washington
October 2, 2016

Browns 27, Washington 13

To paraphrase "Major League", "this team ain't so f*cking bad." I'm not sure if the Browns are going to win a game or two this year, but if they do, it might as well be this one.

Washington 24, Browns 13

I've been out of town, so I'm not plugged into the pulse of local sports talk radio. All I know is Gordon is out, and the Browns barely have a chance to win this week.
Browns 24, Washington 20

The Browns are a miserable pile of bad luck and trouble, but they're also due to give their fanbase a glimmer of hope beyond moral victories. As talent deficient as this roster is, they're playing hard under Coach Jackson, and this is the week they finally break through with a win.
Washington 20, Browns 17

Hoping for one week without a DUI, someone going to rehab, or another injury.

Washington Professional Football Team 24, Browns Amateur Football Club 23

On the game's final snap, a two-point conversion attempt for the win, Coach Jay Gruden calls for the unstoppable Omaha Right 42 Trumped-Up-Trickle Down. I can't tell you too much about the play, but it involves Kirk Cousins ramming the ball down America's throat. Everyone wins but Cleveland.


Washington 23, Browns 14
I love that someone on the Browns has confidence (Pryor), but I don't think that translates to 13 wins, including in today's contest.

Washington 28, Browns 12

I have to admit, the Browns have shown more fight this year than I expected, They're just a really, really bad team.