Friday, July 23, 2010

McCoy in Camp

Colt McCoy signed with the Browns let's get Joe Haden in camp and the rest of the team and get over this LeBacle summer we've had!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Meet 'The Admiral'

As the pain from the LeBron James/Cleveland breakup recedes, there’s probably a good portion of sick-of-being-snakebitten fans that need at least a temporary reprieve from the local sporting scene.

Last week’s already infamous “Decision” – which featured James protectively surrounded by well-scrubbed adolescent props while wearing a $400 button-down from Barney’s of New York - may have snapped the will of many Cleveland fans. Like a wall that’s been pounded by waves year after year, eventually even the toughest edifice is going to erode into nothing, right?

It’s not like there’s much going on sports-wise in this post-LeBron recession, unless you consider the Cavs’ signing of Rockets’ restricted free agent guard Kyle Lowry to an offer sheet (which was quickly matched by Houston) a newsworthy event. Meanwhile, the Indians, standing as the badly dressed, pencil-mustached “Fredo” of the Cleveland sports’ triumvirate, are mired in a joyless season that seems to have little point or even the faintest glimmer of an upside heading into the future.

Even with all three of our teams on the downswing, I imagine most Cleveland fans aren’t going to abdicate their fandom as easily as the “so-called King” (thank you Dan Gilbert for giving us this biting zinger) did his throne. By the end of this month, in fact, I suspect we will be pinning our championship hopes on a new savior, one a bit more subdued and workmanlike than the nightclub-opening, celebrity-canoodling James.

Fans, I give you new Browns’ president Mike Holmgren.

Holmgren may not be “sexy” in either the looks or public persona department, but honey, he’s all we’ve got right now. To be fair to Randy Lerner, the much-maligned Browns’ owner has received nationwide praise for hiring Holmgren and GM Tom Heckert in an effort to stopper the revolving door that has been the Browns’ front office since the team’s return in 1999.

With James gone, Holmgren’s The Man around here until proven otherwise. For one, fans could proudly point to how refreshingly calm Berea has been this summer. Besides a few hiccups, like the looming suspension of Shaun Rogers over gun charges, the off-field mishegoss has been kept to a minimum, and most of the recent Browns’ discussion has actually centered on football. How novel!

Stability is a welcome change, even if, on paper at least, the Browns don’t look that much better than last year. And perusing the team’s seemingly murderous schedule, which includes out-of-division tilts against New England, New Orleans, the Jets and Atlanta, the city’s favorite franchise is probably facing a 6-8 win season at best.

That harsh reality hardly matters now as we slip into drowsy mid-summer and inch closer to the opening of NFL training camp. What’s important is the perception that Holmgren will right what has been an ever-listing Browns’ ship.

In keeping with the nautical theme, I’m offering Cleveland a nickname we can use for Holmgren. Although the Browns’ prez has the facial hair and, ah, generous carriage of the United Kingdom’s King Edward VII (1841-1910), I think “The Admiral” better suits him.



Just look at the guy: That flushed face and walrus mustache should be commanding a fleet somewhere in the South Pacific. Put a sea captain’s hat on Holmgren (thanks to CST contributor Froms for the photoshop job above) and he could be plying the seven seas as easily as directing a pro football franchise.

Sure, it’s a stretch, but the U.S.S. Brownie has known nothing but choppy waters for most of the last 11 years. If Holmgren’s the man to bring this adrift franchise to port, he should forever be known as “The Admiral” in many a Cleveland fan’s heart.

Trust me, it works.

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Friday, July 9, 2010

Benedict LeBron

Saw this on a message board.Check out what LeBron's Fathead is selling for.


1741 the same year Benedict Arnold was born.
BTW for those of you who don't know Dan Gilbert owns Fathead.
Sent from my BlackBerry®

Plain Dealer cover

The first time I've seen the PD do a full cover like this--editorializing and everything.

Dan Gilbert gets loose

Wow, I don't even know how to an interview with the AP and then an open letter to Cavs fans, he destroys LeBron James. There will certainly be some self flaggelating necessary for the carte blanche they gave LBJ and his friends in the Cavs Kingdom, but nonetheless Gilbert seems to reflect that.

"people have covered up for [James] for way too long. Tonight we saw who he really is."

Open Letter to Fans from Cavaliers Majority Owner Dan Gilbert

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:


You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.
Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers
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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Notes from a disaster

If there’s one silver lining to this gratuitously ugly media sideshow, it’s that by 9:15 tonight pop diva LeBron James will make himself an official member of “Miami Thrice” and we can all move on with our gray little lives here in boring old Northeast Ohio.

James is already getting lambasted in media circles as a callous, egomaniacal prima donna for his Lindsey Lohan-worthy “look-at-me” behavior during this free agency period, and Cleveland is in turn getting some unwanted sympathy regarding his departure.

Cleveland doesn’t want your pity, America. As proof of this sentiment, I offer our readers this morning’s e-mail correspondence between Cleveland Sports Torture contributors on the then-embryonic LeBron-to-Miami story. These passionate, unvarnished missives are filled with real, naked emotion (unlike the crocodile tears LeBron will no doubt shed tonight), and as such I will not edit out any grammatical errors or curse words.

That’s because unlike LeBron, we in Cleveland know how to “keep it real.”

Note: For your reading convenience, each e-mail in the chain will be preceded by the name of the sender and a time stamp. While the posts are unedited, colloquialisms that need explanation will be bolded in parens. Finally, a name of a sender has been changed to protect the innocent.

Brian, 7:24 a.m. - What are your thoughts on this disgraceful process that LeBron is doing, and on a scale of one to Modell, how bad it would be for LBJ to treat Cavs fans like this if he calls a show "The Decision" and embarrasses us on national TV?

Trout, 8:19 a.m.- I have a long email in my head, but no time to write it. I'll put a few bullet points quickly. So if I make some grammatical mistakes or it’s confusing well just go eat a big one:

- 1:Art 2:Boozer 3:Lebron 4:Thome. Odd that Boozer got some media attention yesterday, the rat is back in the east.

- Ironic that “The Decision” is in Connecticut, the home of pro-wrestling as he continues to make a mockery of the sport as he turns it into WWE. And becomes a heel for Cleveland.

- I'm afraid what Dan Gilbert might pay for some free agent as a knee jerk reaction, without Danny to calm him he may screw up.

- Dan make sure its a Euro you sign, at least they have integrity. All the A-holes in this ego centric summer are all the top americans in the league. I really thought he would make his decision on the 4th as he was jealous of all the (sic) Even Carmelo is trying to get some attention.

- He should of held it during the NY hotdog eating championship so that he could of covered 1 more of the 7 deadly sins.

- I never thought I would say that Paul Pierce (who I've always called an ass and a baby) is the one of the last superstars from a generation past where they didn't hold conferences, roll with music icons and have a club with other top players in the league.

- Boozer got some bad Karma after he stabbed a blind man (former Cavs’ owner Gordon Gund) in the back, I fear for you Lebron. I hope Gloria gets knocked up.

- I say we vote for Lebron's real daddy for Mayor of Cleveland! Lets start the campaign.

- The only two reasons I want Lebron to sign is one for the money for Cleveland he generates. And two more importantly my daughter asked me why people were wearing Lebron jerseys at the Indians game Friday. Instead of explaining to her the concept of a front runner not owning a tribe shirt. I explained to her Lebron's contract situation. She just got 2 new authentic lebron jerseys handed down to her from her cousins 2 weeks ago and she said "dad, if he doesn't come back I'm ripping up the jerseys". I didn't want to explain the concept of a front runner because I don't want her to think she has a choice.

-I could go on by I'm not right now and if we should be so honored to be chosen buy the guy we have given so much too then I still feel all above. But for the two reason right above I will accept it. Browns just get the title first! Funny that "the chosen one" is doing the choosing.

- OK one more, Its hard excepting that I am morphing into my father and this is pushing me even more. As I see ticket prices being too high when I have to buy 4 instead of 1 or 2. Players becoming more arrogant. And I begin questions the integrity of the game and the character of the players who play it compared to generations past. I just hope as I become a shadow of my former self I am at least self aware enough to recognize it and find happiness in the next generation of sports fans passion. I hope I'm not bitter like the ones that went before me.

Ryan, 8:47 a.m. - I agree with most of Trout's points. I am to the point that if we wouldn't suck for the next 20 years I would want him gone.

Kevin, 8:51 a.m. - If he leaves, my rankings go:
1. Lebron
2. Art
3. Boozer
4. Thome
5. Manny/Belle

My reasoning is:
1. The way he's stringing us along
2. Doing it to us on National TV
3. Turning down an extra $36 million, in his hometown, for a team that had the best record in the league for 2 years.
4. Lebron has nobody to blame but himself for not winning titles. If he would've committed the past few years, we could've built a TEAM instead of adding guys at the trade deadline that didn't fit.

At least in Art's mind, he had financial reasons to move the team. If LBJ leaves, to me he's nothing but a “blame everyone else” follower, not the leader he thinks he is. I'll hate him. Art was what, in his early 70s when he moved the team? Lebron is 25 and has long life to live not being allowed back in his hometown. Anyone I hear today that says they won't hate him because of the memories he gave us better not do it with me physically present because I may punch them. F#CK THAT.

Sean, 8:56 a.m. - If he goes he will go down as a quitter. I cannot stop thinking about game 5. I do feel better about him going to heat than ny for some reason. I feel real bad for gilbert. Though with him invested in the casino and his track history if lebron leaves he will pull out all stops to try and build a winner. Pistons style, no superstars. Since no top-tier super has EVER signed for the cavs.

Trout, 9:01 a.m. - If Art taught me anything its better to lose the game than to never of played it at all. And he took that from us. Boozer screwed a blind guy with lies. Lebron is still a giant prick but he technically did nothing wrong. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying he is not the devil but Art and Boozer broke contracts and according to (a lawyer friend) verbal contracts hold up in court.

Belle and Manny I hold no hostility for anymore. Manny hurt a lot but he was what he was and you knew what you were getting with him. I sure wish he would of stayed but he never lied. Belle, look back and realize how bad that contract was. He would of been an idiot not to sign it. He sucked and still got raises because he was guaranteed to be one of the top 3 paid for a couple years. Also look at that '95 team who still calls the radio stations in Cleveland. Albert hurt because I believe he loved Cleveland. But that contract was nuts!

Don't take my comments wrong, Belle and Manny hurt but I let time forgive them. The others on the list I will spit in their face when I see them in hell.

Doug, 9:49 a.m. - I can't even muster up hatred right now...although give me time and that may change. I'm just depressed for the fanbase and embarrassed for the city. LeBron and his marketing “team” are so caught up in building a brand that they have forgotten the human element. It's one thing to leave--I get wanting to play w/ D Wade and Bosh in tax free South Beach--but to announce it in presidential address-like fashion on nat'l TV shows such a stunning lack of empathy that it makes me nauseous. I never really thought LeBron gave a sh!t about Cleveland, but I'm damned surprised he'd play Akron like this, too.

I was actually thinking of live-blogging The Decision tonight, but this is one 'historical moment' I don't think I can bear to watch. I wouldn't be surprised to see tears out of LeBron during the interview--and I won't be able to stomach the live shots from Cleveland and Akron bars (you know ESPN's gonna have cameras in both cities) and the dramatic close-ups of the fans shocked faces. I'm to the point where our collective sports experience has numbed me to the never-ending tsunami of crushing disappointments. Getting older and gaining perspective is a part of it, but seeing what we've seen over the years has poisoned my enjoyment of pro sports and turned what should be passion and anger into resignation and apathy. This development is very sad to me. The next few days ain't gonna be pretty 'round these parts.

Kevin, excerpted from e-mail to Cleveland sports personality Les Levine, 11:55 a.m. -The idiocy in all of this is that Lebron is the one who screwed himself and us. If he wasn't so non-committal over the last few years, maybe better fitting free agents would've come here instead of us trying to plug in guys at the trading deadline that didn't gel. Yet Lebron is going to “hold the Cavs accountable” for showing him they'll be a serious contender?
I'm serious when I say that if he leaves, I'm done with my passion for pro sports. How and why should I be so invested in these players/teams? Particularly in Cleveland where even with the best player, a proven coach with championships himself, more money, and a good team, we STILL can't attract free agents or keep our own.

Lebron's no leader. Leaders stay and fight. He's a follower. And a quitter who blames everyone else, takes his ball, and runs away. Needless to say, I'm devastated. I told my wife tonight is no joke. Please don't come and try to console me in a semi-joking matter. This may sound over dramatic, but I was really looking forward to sharing Lebron and the Cavs with my sons (5 and 2) as they grow up the next 6 years. In 6 years one will be 11 and the other 8, the time when I really started to passionately get into sports myself when I was younger. The 5 year old (who at 5 really doesn't have a clue what it means) told me he'd get me tickets and take me to a Cavs game for Father's Day because I like them so much and it honestly brought a huge smile to my face. I'm angry, hurt, frustrated, and sick of all this.

Trout, 12:01 p.m. - If you (Kevin) quit on the Cavs and Cleveland your no better than him! Sweet, as I'm typing this 2-pac "Fake A$$ bit##es" just came on. That was a headline song on my boozer soundtrack. I wish I could find that cd or a copy of the playlist.

Doug, 12:28 p.m. - This has to be real...too much smoke not to be fire. What, is LeBron gonna go "psyche!" with a big grin on his face come 9:10 tonight?

Trout, 12:39 p.m. - I wouldn't be shocked if he stays. Honestly would be thinking "psyche" in his mind. Or he will say I'm saving Cleveland, its all about the ego, and its working everyone is talking about it.

I ain't watching though, its one thing to have my heart broken watching two teams compete and the other be better. But its another to watch someone decide they will rip my nuts off. Actually stay or go he already ripped my nuts off. He has this city by the nuts. I'd love to see what Gilbert does in the next few years should he leave, I could see him snapping. Be the new age Bill Veeck and make mark cuban look weak. He would have Delonte night the day Lebron came to town. Or my favorite "Akron Sucks" night. I can think of better than that, but gotta run. Crazy day.

Sean, 12:58 p.m. - I remember when austin carr cried when we won the lottery. I wonder how he will be in 8hrs 12ms.

Trout, 1:20 p.m. - Best quote of the day:
“What a week for LeBron's brand. I just hope he remembers to wipe the blood off the knife after he pulls it from Cleveland's back.”

I seriously wouldn't be shocked if they are all telling people different things and letting them run with it. Lets start a rumor he is staying with the Cavs but Gilberts moving them to Las Vegas. Someone twitter that!

SamVox, 3:49 p.m. - Today is out of control. My mind is in a few thousand places lately and I find it hard to keep my mind sharp and focused. But here is the bottom line: LeBron has been cultivating his image for years. It's as important to him as his play on the court, if not more. There's no possible way he booked a prime-time special to leave. LRMR is way to savvy for that.
I am 99.99999% sure he resigns.

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Le Ego

In the end, it seems as if Lebron needs titles to enhance his own brand, instead of winning them for the sake of winning. So sad.;_ylt=ArzthMoshd5vbSJevBnwlr90fNdF?slug=aw-lebrondecision070710

The Ultimate F U

Don't do it Lebron. Don't do it.
How could you?
Going on national television and telling the entire city of Cleveland to collectively f*ck off.
The reason I think he can and will is he doesn't care about Cleveland, never has, never will.
He likes the Yankees, the Cowboys, the Bulls, and most of all Akron. And he will tell the people of Akron that he can put them even more on the map by playing elsewhere.
I'm still confused by the Miami thing. As the Nets owner pointed out that would ruin the "Lebron brand" which I agree. So I just don't see how he can go there.
I don't fault him for leaving here. The Bulls team is much better that what we have here, Miami too. I think you can make the argument the Knicks could be better over the next 2-3 years as well. He just doesn't have to do it in the F U fashion he has chosen.
I think I am to the point I actually want him to leave. I have never loved the Lebron Cavs' like I loved the Price, Daugherty, Ehlo, Nance, Hot Rod Cavs' and after this spectacle I can't even look at Lebron the same.
It will be interesting to say what he has to say no matter where he ends up. Even if he comes back it will sort of feel like a girlfriend who cheats on you, maybe you take her back but you will never have quite the same feelings for her.

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12 Hours to Go

This is insane. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning with LeBron on my mind. I had a dream last night that he went to the Clippers, THE CLIPPERS. As of this morning he is no doubt about it going to Miami, by lunch time it will be New York, and by the time I'm home it will be the Bulls. Hopefully at 9:10 or so tonight he will tell the world, he's staying home.

I was wondering this morning what could the Cavs have done differently. We certainly spent a bunch of money, won a lot of games (during the regular season), and did everything we could do to try and will it all. Of course none of it worked, as we are still without a title, but really was there much more that Dan Gilbert and Co. could of done?

Maybe the Cavs should of gutted the roster the past 2 years a la  Miami, so we would have room for max contracts, it seems to be paying off for them. If the Cavs would have pulled that crap, there would be 0% chance LeBron would resign with us. It's amazing that they were able to bring back Wade and get Bosh, and maybe even LeBron by basically saying we are trying to "win" but not really, come play for us.

Or Lebron can head off to NY and score 35-40 a game with the 7 seconds or less offense, and get no where in the play-offs because D'Antonio's team's do not play defense.

So does he stay or does he go? Is it really going to be better elsewhere?

As of right now...I think he's gone, unless the Cavs do something MAJOR via trade today.

But on the other hand, would he really have the balls to break a city's heart on national TV in primetime, and then have 50 minutes worth of interviews and video highlights?

Whatever happens I'm sure we will all be watching. At least this time tomorrow the insanity will be over, hopefully.
Sent from my BlackBerry®

The Ultimate F U

Don't do it Lebron. Don't do it. Do not get on national television and embarass the city of Cleveland.

That being said I think he will.

People keep talking about Lebron screwing his hometown. In his mind he is not! He has ALWAYS made the distinction he is from Akron, not Cleveland, Akron. In his mind I believe he could care less about Cleveland and Akron will love him no matter where he goes.

"The Spectacle"

Well the moment that the media has been clamoring for for the past week three years is here. LeBron James has negotiated an hour, live on ESPN, to announce what his intentions are for his basketball future.

And what's the point of linking to any articles regarding this story? Sources and stories are changing hourly. The latest, as of 6am on Thursday, July 8, is that LeBron will indeed sign with the Miami Heat to play with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, the top three free agents all determining from their top secret summits that playing together is exactly what they want to do.

However, over the past week, the favorite had been Chicago. No, Cleveland, no, we still think LBJ is going to New York.

No matter what happens tonight, we cannot submit to the will of LeBron and call this "The Decision" as it has been dubbed. The fact that the tv special is titled like this is the strongest thing sticking in my gut that tells me LeBron is re-signing with the Cleveland Cavaliers. If LeBron, knowing full well the history of Cleveland sports, books an incredibly high-profile TV spot in order to embarass and divorce Northeast Ohio, and on top of that glosses it "The Decision" to line up with other singularly-named sports tragedies in Cleveland history--that would be an unconscionable decision. One which would likely be seen as cruel, and inexcusable.

Is this how LeBron wants to go out? Does he care? Everyone "knows" that LeBron loves Akron completely--is this how he wants to treat his home?

Opinion is about unanimous that this entire process is making LeBron look incredibly bad, no matter what the decision. Whatever LeBron calls the show, if it turns out the worst for Cleveland, this will be known as "The Embarassment", "The Backstabbing", or "The Ego Trip". Or much, much worse.

All the guesses mercifully end tonight.