Do you trust these men? |
Monday, December 30, 2013
Oh no, not again: Are the new Browns the same as the old Browns?
Sunday, December 29, 2013
What we think the Browns will do against the Steelers today (Week 17)
Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers
December 29, 2013
| Steelers 33 Browns 12 | Browns suspend entire team for "conduct detrimental to the team." But Squealers still don't sneak into the playoffs. |
Browns 24 Steelers 17 | This is what I get for huffing butane on a Sunday morning. | |
Steelers 26
Browns 6 | The best thing about the season coming to an end is that we won't have to hear any Browns' talk for five months...he said wistfully. | |
Steelers 28 Browns 16 | Feeling very Phil Leotardo-ish this morning. And when the last word has been written, the world will look back on December 2013 and say, "that was the month that finally broke the Vox." No more, Butchy...No more o' this. | |
Steelers 34 Browns 12 | Seems like yesterday the Steelers were 0-4 and the Browns were challenging for the division lead. It's hard to decide which turnaround is more impressive. | |
Steelers 27 Browns 10 | Another fabulous ending to another fabulous season. | |
Steelers 2200 Browns 1 | Super stoked about what's going to be a FUN and EXCITING off-season here in Browns Town USA. Listen for me on Bull and Fox Show daily as I break down the draft position by position. I go under the name 'Da Browns Freak' so make sure to tune in lol. You are my moon and stars, Browns. I love you. |
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Bennett pick sheds unkind light on Cavs' GM Grant
If only Anthony Bennett let off this kind of steam (Trust me, that's funny). |
Monday, December 23, 2013
2013 Browns give fans little reason for optimism
It's been a rough first year for Banner and Co. |
Sunday, December 22, 2013
What we think the Browns will do against the Jets today (Week 16)
Cleveland Browns at New York Jets
December 22, 2013
| Browns 27 Jets 23 | Because when draft position is at stake is when the Browns pull off a victory. |
Jets 20 Browns 14 | Read this during the week on twitter, courtesy of Tom Withers from the AP. "#Browns are second NFL team with at least 10 10-plus loss seasons in 11-year span. They join the #Buccaneers." Why do I even bother.... | |
Jets 27
Browns 24 | If the Browns have a meaningless win in them, this will be the week to do it. However, expect them to stay the course with the end of the season mercifully in sight. | |
Jets 20 Browns 16 | The smell of hospitals in winter and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls...Adam Duritz ain't got nothing on Cleveland! Because what could be more tedious and depressing than any activity associated with the Browns in these annually-long Decembers? | |
Jets 36 Browns 17 | It's the annual win-to-learn-how-win vs. lose-for-a-higher-draft-pick" debate. Either way, does it really matter? If they don't screw up the draft, one of our key players will be bit by a rattlesnake while hiking with friends just outside of Vegas and need his leg amputated. Literally snake-bitten–get it? I'll be at the Improv next week. | |
Browns 24 Jets 17 | The defense finally holds onto a 4th quarter lead. | |
Jets 26 Browns 3 | Rex Ryan is sexy. |
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Bears auditioning QBs for the Browns today?
Bear with me here. (No pun intended.) I live in Chicago, so am subjected to nonstop Bears, Blackhawks, and Bulls chatter in the local media and around all my Chicago-based friends and coworkers. (Those who aren't talking about the Packers, Lions, Tigers, Brewers, Cardinals, Indians, Buckeyes, Boilermakers, Badgers, Wolverines, Spartans, or Rams non-stop, which now that I think about it in this melting pot of the midwest, is only about 40% of them.)
Sunday, December 8, 2013
What we think the Browns will do against the Patriots today (Week 14)
Cleveland Browns at New England Patriots
December 8, 2013
| Patriots 28 Browns 13 | After this weekend I might give myself a concussion to forget about the Browns and Buckeyes. |
Patriots 34 Browns 10 | If the Patriots didn't almost lay an egg last week the Browns might have been able to catch them sleeping. Not going to happen now as Belichick will have them ready. How many more weeks until the draft? | |
Patriots 24
Browns 13 | In a quarterback driven league the Browns are tooling around in an '86 Dodge Omni. | |
Patriots 30 Browns 10 |
Nobody buys into the "Any Given Sunday" mantra more than the Vox. I believe the line between the NFL's good teams and bad teams is thinner than the iPad Air. There's always a chance for victory. Always. Except for today.
| |
Patriots 28 Browns 13 | "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," which means Browns games don't matter except for draft position. | |
Patriots 27 Browns 10 | It only took me 13 weeks to convince myself that the Browns suck. | |
Patriots 33 Browns 6 | Browns, Schmowns. I'll be watching 'The Sound of Music Live' on DVR. I don't care what anyone says, Carrie Underwood is tremendously talented. She killed it and the haters can just go drink their haterade lol. |
Reflections on a Championship Squandered
As I sit in line at a Bob Evans in nowhere, Indiana, I just can't stop shaking my damn head, and not because I'm jonesing for sausage gravy.
Ohio State's loss in the Big Ten championship just became the latest in the never-ending trail of gut punches suffered by (northern) Ohio fans.
What. The. Hell. Was. That?
It's not like I thought Michigan State would be a walkover. And I got all the pregame howls about the strength of the SEC and the weakness of the Big Ten. But I did not expect the Buckeyes to come out and shit the bed like that.
And by the Buckeyes I mean the defense/special teams and the coaching staff.
The extremely partisan crowd (I'd put it at 80% red, 20% green, which actually made it very festive for the season) was immediately put in a bad mood by two terrible pass interferences and a punt reception interference, three idiotic plays that no accomplished team should make. After the coaches went away early from the unstoppable Carlos Hyde, and the OSU DBs forgot to guard people, all of a sudden Sparty was up 17-0.
And yet I don't think many fans were nervous yet. With a couple quick scores and one more after halftime, all of a sudden it was tied up and soon it was 24-17 good guys.
So what did the brilliant OSU coaches do next? (And for once we are not picking on Luke Fickell.) Abandoned the horse they rode in on, the aforementioned Carlos Hyde. Even on busted runs up the middle Mr. Hyde gets four yards, and if he gets a head of steam it's more like eight or ten. Summarized perfectly up by trying a Braxton Miller run on the critical 4th and 1.5 that basically sealed the game for Michigan State, while Carlos could just block, and MSU completed its 17 point bookend and won, 24-17.
Inexcusable lapses by the coaches and defense. Heartbreaking walk through the cold for the throngs of long faced Buckeyes fans. And a long few weeks coming for the team, who has to know that they can beat Sparty 6 or 7 times out of ten.
And OSU would beat Auburn 8 out of ten times. Although at this rate those games would be 70-63.
Whether Florida State or Auburn really is the best team in the country, nobody knows or ever will. But I suspect not.
Thank goodness for the playoff system starting next year. Even though Ohio State would likely be watching on television if it were in place this year.
Uggh. An Orange Bowl vs Clemson sounds about as much fun as the Sugar Bowl versus Texas A&M in January 1999. Which is after the last ridiculous loss to Michigan State.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Strong words can't mask stench of Browns' return to obscurity
I'm singin' to myself, there's got to be another way. |
Sunday, December 1, 2013
What we think the Browns will do today against the Jaguars (Week 13)
Cleveland Browns vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
December 1, 2013
| Browns 15 Jaguars 13 | These are the veggies you have to eat after yesterday's wonderful football buffet. Time to put the Christmas lights up. |
Jaguars 17 Browns 14 | Another December to forget. Winning games or playing for a draft pick, which is more important? Who knows--we can't seem to do either right. With the boo birds out in full force, Weeden lays an egg. | |
Browns 10
Jaguars 6 | You have entered a strangely familiar place of sight and sound. A place of boredom toward your favorite football team, where every snap is no longer your No. 1 priority on fall Sundays. Take my hand, friend, because you have entered..the Browns Apathy Zone. | |
Browns 12 Jaguars 10 |
The Browns were humbled the past two weeks, and so was the Vox, but I think we'll find a win today. Vegas, however, should know our pal BWeeds should never lay a touchdown to any NFL team. Hell, I'm not even sure Weeden should be favored against the Mentor Cardinals.
| |
Jaguars 21 Browns 16 | I figure Weeden's good for at least one incredibly disastrous play. Along with too many 3-and-outs by the offense, the defense eventually wears down enough to let the Jags squeak out an ugly victory. | |
Browns 40
Jaguars 7 | Brandon Weeden flips off the crowd like Marcus Hall. | |
Jaguars 12 Browns 9 | How now bad Browns? |
Amazing Saturday leaves Ohio State with inside track and further points out BCS obsolescence
It's not like your normal Ohio State-Michigan game lacks drama, hype, passion, heartbreak, and glory. But 2013's edition lived up to the hype and more, and kicked off the amazing day in college football we just experienced. Ohio State came into The Big House as a huge favorite, in the 14-16 point range, and the pitiful Michigan offense promised to make this a cakewalk.
Nobody has run for more yards for OSU v Michigan. Ever. (AP/Carlos Osorio) |
.....and the Ohio State bus as well (as shown on the Instagram video captured by Ohio State WR Frank Epitropoulos.
Now what? Likely today's polls will have Florida State the new #1, and Ohio State the new #2. Likely (but not as likely), if Ohio State takes care of business against MSU and Auburn beats Missouri in the SEC Championship game, Ohio State will still make the BCS Championship game as an undefeated major-conference team (vs. Auburn, who's bigger wins also come with a loss to 3-loss LSU this year.) But that will come with howling from every corner of the sports-talk blogosphere. And to be honest, I can see the point. Auburn beat #1 Alabama, Texas A&M, and lots more. Ohio State didn't. But that's the way the ball rolls sometimes. Wins and losses count too. And moreso, so do votes.
Nobody wants a playoff more than me, but in this case, we don't have one. And if for some reason, (if they beat Michigan State and) Ohio State gets jobbed out of a place in the BCS Championship for a one-loss SEC team, there will be no justice in this world. Which is a shame, because Saturday showed how great college football can be. And once we have a playoff, it will be that much better.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
You should have seen what Brutus did on their Snapchat page...
Yesterday an ambitious, creative, devious Ohio State backer managed to hack the M_chigan football Instagram page and change the avatar to Brutus, and Instagram a picture of Brutus taking his frustrataion out on a Maize-and-Blue pinata. Awesome.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Freedom '13: Reaching the breaking point with the Browns
Just say no! |
What we think the Browns will do today against the Steelers (Week 12)
Cleveland Browns vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
November 24, 2013
| Browns 23 Steelers 21 | Oh who knows. This maybe should be the "Loser Leaves Town Match" indeed. Smart play from Campbell, however, should get the Browns an easy victory. |
Browns 17 Steelers 14 | This is game will not be fun to watch as both teams will struggle with the cold. Browns pull out the game at the end, finally we can say the Browns are clearly the better team. | |
Browns 16
Steelers 13 | If this franchise wants to emerge from its "typical Browns" stereotype of clownish incompetence, winning games within the division is paramount. A victory today would give Cleveland a guaranteed 3-3 record in the AFC North, so against my better judgment, I'm picking the Browns to take the duke. | |
Browns 16
Steelers 13 OT | Here's my BrownsTown pick No Sunday shtick We're taking down the Stillers On a Cundiff kick | |
Browns 21 Steelers 17 | I have a bad feeling that the Pittsburgh D will have a plan for our one-dimensional offense... but since I'm off the entire week for Thanksgiving with a birthday thrown in, I'm in a good mood. | |
Browns 23 Steelers 13 | This may be the four helpings of Muni Lot Hobo Chili talking, but I really like the Browns today. | |
Steelers 24 Browns 17 | I remember wondering, when the Steelers were 0-4, whether they would end up with a better record than the Browns. |