Sunday, December 27, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Chiefs today

Cleveland Browns vs. Kansas City Chiefs
December 27, 2015

Chiefs 41, Browns 20

Manziel does OK, Browns put in even more effort than the Cavs did last night.

Chiefs 30, Browns 13

Another Sunday, another Browns loss. Why do I do this to myself? While the Chiefs are playing for something, the Browns are "playing" for the coach they want to keep. OIC do we wait on pins an needles to see who is going to right the ship next season with their own "process".
Chiefs 27, Browns 17

Only eight more sleeps until the merciful end of our long, regional nightmare. The offseason will carry its own kind of terror, but at least our Sundays will be free again.
Chiefs 27, Browns 20

Manziel plays well and keeps us in the game, but the defense is awful and will cost us another game. Next week's game vs. Pittsburgh in Cleveland could have more Steelers fans than Browns fans. Our own CST Tom was offered a free loge seat to the game and had no interest in it...sad.

Chiefs 33, Browns 31

John Football passes for 300 and rushes for 80, but K.C. preserves their streak after Coach Pettine mismanages the hell out of something. By the way, if Andy Reid can win 9 straight, then there's hope for mediocres everywhere.

Chiefs 27, Browns 14

Great googly moogly the Chiefs pull one out. Browns fans fall deeper in love with John Manziel.

Chiefs 34, Browns 10

After 14 games, I've come to the realization that the Browns are really only three positions away from contending... 1) offense, 2) defense, and 3) special teams.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Seahawks today

Cleveland Browns vs. Seattle Seahawks
December 20, 2015

Seahawks 51, Browns 21

Put me solidly in the camp of "forget drafting yet another quarterback." Let's play this season out and hopefully Jonathan Manziel can be competent, because the Browns have much deeper needs in the D and at wideout that we can't count on Josh Gordon to fill. And what the hell, give Cardale a look in the fourth round.

Seahawks 48, Browns 13

Who scores more points today? Kyrie in his return to the court or Browns? My guess is Kyrie. JF is in for a rude awakening today. With line issues and lack of receivers it's going to be a long, ugly day. The drumbeat for change grows much louder after this loss.
Seahawks 34, Browns 14

Johnny Manziel will need to make at least 40 pass attempts to keep it close against a Seattle defense that has struggled at times this year. If that's your idea of entertainment, go for it. A better viewing option may be Kyrie Irving's debut with the Cavs. But I won't tell you how to live your life, man!
Seahawks 38, Browns 17

I'm hoping sometime in the near future an opposing coach calls the Browns starting QB "not in the top tier," and we can all get upset cause our QB is like the 6th best in the league.

Seahawks 31, Browns 17

You're directing a soft porn film and the plot is simple: Grandfather and grandson are having an affair with the same woman. The devil's in the details, but one thing is certain - you want Pete Carroll and John Manziel as the male leads.

Seahawks 34, Browns 3

Browns get "Trumped" in the liberal Northwest.

Seahawks 42, Browns 10

Browns keep it close, but Seattle squeaks out a victory at home. See what I did there?

Sunday, December 13, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-49ers today

Cleveland Browns vs. San Francisco 49ers
December 13, 2015

Browns 23, 49ers 21

Because it's 60 freaking degrees out, Johnny Football will perform well and really, what good is the #1 pick to this team anyway?

49ers 24, Browns 6

The free-fall continues. The only thing the Browns have going for them is there is only one more game at home this season.
49ers 20, Browns 10

This is the last game of the year the Browns have a chance to win. However, I can't imagine a still unproven Manziel having that much of an impact on this injury-riddled, talent-deprived team. To the fans who made the trek to the stadium for this dog, please play "We're Not Gonna Take It" on your cell phones throughout the contest. Send a message to management that you've had enough!!
Browns 23,  49ers 17

It's going to be 70 degrees in Cleveland today, so global warming is on our side. It's sad that I'm the only CST reporter who would even consider watching this in person.

Browns 9, 49ers 8 

Give me liberty or give me Trump!

49ers 24, Browns 10

A beautiful day for some shit football.

49ers 24, Browns 14

To quote Bobby Rayburn from the movie The Fan: "I just stopped caring, man."

Sunday, December 6, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Bengals today

Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals
December 6, 2015

Bengals 43, Browns 13

The Browns defense is an abomination and if Mike Pettine isn't humiliated, he should be fired. That said, I doubt firing the coach is the solve for the problems that this franchise has. After Monday's finish (can't call it demoralizing as the team and fanbase was already rock bottom), this feels similar to the Cavs-Heat last night--a sure loss.

Bengals 30, Browns 7

Austin Davis or Johnny Manziel. Doesn't matter, this team continues to flounder. Change is needed, and it is coming.
Bengals 27, Browns 9

All things considered, it's not hyperbole to say the 2015 Browns have amassed not just one of the worst years in franchise history, but one of most wretched seasons of Cleveland professional sports overall since I started being a fan of these lovely teams in the mid-'80s. The only thing that comes close in recent memory is the post-LeBron Cavs squad that lost 26 in a row. Unfortunately, there's no LeBron  waiting in the wings to save our pathetic football franchise.
Bengals 30, Browns 10

I got nothing. This team sucks and there is no reason to think they will be good anytime soon.

Columbus Crew SC 2, Portland Timbers 1

This is the only football game I'm concerned about today. I'm also releasing it as an official four-dime lock. Goals by Kei 'Haaskivi' Kamara, Justin Meram and Cleveland's own Darlington Nagbe.

Season: 0-1 (-1 Dime)

Bengals 31, Browns 10

I don't have a real comment because DONALD TRUMP SAYS SO!

Bengals 38, Browns 17

When the most exciting news of the week is that your team has re-signed Terrelle Pryor, you know you're a Browns fan.

Monday, November 30, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Ravens tonight

Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens
November 30, 2015

Ravens 23, Browns 20

Johnny Manziel had a 95 rating against the Steelers. He's not that bad! He's the starter! He is an immature lying 13 year old to dad Pettine. He's benched! Dammit! The Browns better just be punishing him one week, because they need to start him before the damn draft. Shoot, they'll probably win with McCown, both hurting the draft position for the Browns AND giving us no knowledge about Manziel! Yay being a Browns fan! Not that anyone gives a crap about this game after last night's Broncos-Patriots masterpiece. Shit, even ESPN knows it and is trolling both teams!

Ravens 14, Browns 13

Time for Austin Davis? Who knows what's happening with this team anymore. What a Lost season.
Browns 17, Ravens 13

It would be just like the Browns to win a meaningless game with draft position at stake against a division rival. As Cleveland sports talker Tony Rizzo says, What's the difference between 2-14 and 5-11. Please, please let this awful season end.
Browns 27, Ravens 13

This team blows, but Baltimore is injured. At least we have a drum line (that is coming through the Muni Lot as I type this).

Browns 22, Ravens 17

In this space three months ago, I predicted the Browns would find three wins this season. Tonight marks that third win.

Browns 16, Ravens More than 16

Ryan: 24 beers.

Ravens 32, Browns 28

On the way home from work, I heard a debate on one of the sports talk shows over who was worse for the Browns franchise - Farmer or the Banner/Lombardi combo. I laughed and then cried. Then answered Holmgren. I swear, it's like being trapped in Hell in a Cell... with no door. (Did you think I'd let a whole season go by without one wrestling reference?)

Sunday, November 15, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Steelers today

Cleveland Browns vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
November 15, 2015

Browns 23, Steelers 13

Every piece of evidence says don't pick the Browns here. But I'm a moron. And I haven't decided that Manziel sucks beyond a reasonable doubt. Because until he plays a few games, there is reason to have some hope.

Steelers 38, Browns 13

I can make it easy for you, Manziel sucks beyond a reasonable doubt. No other team in the league is so hesitant to start QB2, unless the starter is named Tom Brady. The Browns either do not like him as a person, or they know he isn't good, and are trying to preserve his limited trade value by not playing him. Enjoy the nice weather today and get outside.
Steelers 20, Browns 10

Another step in this season's slow march to oblivion. Even with the Big Puffy-Faced Frat Boy out with injury, the Browns are lacking at too many positions to make this a game. Expect a big day from DeAngelo Williams, and a...small day from whoever the Browns trot out at quarterback..
Steelers 20, Browns 13

The Browns offense sucks, the defense sucks, the GM is maybe the worst I've ever seen. I think the coach sucks too but who could win with this talent? However...we have a good punter! F*ck Pittsburgh! .

Browns 24, Steelers 22

Browns win for Ave's 70th birthday. All you need to know is that my first CLE sports memory is seeing Ave punch the living room piano after Red Right 88.

Steelers 24, Browns 17

"Browns are a bunch of losers" - Donald Trump

Steelers 34 Browns 14

Ronda Rousey got KO'd and my heart sank. Anything is the Browns scoring in the second half. Winning, however, is another story.

Friday, November 13, 2015

It's time the Browns stop f_cking around and start Johnny Manziel

So it's Friday before yet another Browns-Steelers game, one in which the Browns hopefully show up. And even though Coach Mike Pettine seems to know who is going to start at QB this weekend, he's not telling. Word is, however, it will be Johnny Manziel again. It's more than clear that Pettine hates Manziel, maybe as a player, maybe as a human being, I'm just not sure. And it's pretty clear to everyone that Josh McCown (while healthy) actually does give the Browns a better chance at winning--this year. Hey guys, McCown's not that bad!

This is the warmest look Pettine has ever given Manziel.
(Photo via John Kuntz/

That said, this is clearly now a long game; the Browns season is over. The charade of them being competent last year in last year's AFC South feast is now over. They sit at 2-7, all but eliminated from the playoffs, in a damn era where the Steelers and Ravens kinda suck. The Browns--the organization, no matter who voted 'yes' or 'no'--drafted Johnny Manziel in the first round a year ago. He has not been given the controls yet, and for good reason in the past. Last year was an unmitigated disaster, but this year has been far from that. He has looked downright encouraging at times, (although the all-22 analysis shows some major flaws in his game.) That said, Browns fans do not have the patience for the team to just give up on Manziel and spend another top pick on a QB next year without running him through the paces.

Start Manziel now and for the rest of the year. If he sucks, at least we'll know it. If McCown starts and wins the rest of the games, he may save Pettine's 2015 season, but not the Browns'. And that old guy isn't the future. The Browns need a future. They just don't know if they have it yet, and Mike Pettine doesn't seem to find out, because it could mean his job. If the Browns need to order Pettine to do it, and guarantee next year's contract, do it. Just start Manziel, and then draft based on what we learn.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

What CST thinks about Browns-Bengals tonight....

Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals

November 5, 2015

Bengals 31, Browns 17

I fully expect to see some spark of life with young Jonathan Football, but  that fact is far from assured, and this week's Browns make the NBA Finals-Cavs feel like they were at full strength. That said, as much as I love Whitner and Haden, it's hard to see the defensive value they've contributed this year, so it could be an interesting week for the secondary without them. The wide receiver corps, however...

Bengals 42, Browns 10

After a short week, and a huge amount of injuries, the Browns cannot keep up with the Bengals. If the Browns were starting McCown, I feel it would be fairly close game because starting McCown doesn't get the Bengals riled up and ready to play, as its just another game. Starting Johnny though give the Bengals defense extra motivation to embarrass the Browns and Johnny on national TV.
Bengals 27, Browns 14

Underwhelming play, injuries and front office in-fighting  means it must be November in Browns Town. Johnny Manziel behind center is the only Cleveland-centric point of interest for a game that likely won't be more than a speed bump for the undefeated Bengals, short week or no. When will the hurting stop, Cleveland?
Browns 23, Bengals 17

The Browns' road record in the 2013 and '14 seasons was a combined 4-12. I attended three road games during that stretch and the Browns record was a miraculous 3-0. The first win was right after we traded Trent Richardson and gave Hoyer his first start in Minnesota, then the greatest road comeback ever in Tennessee last season, followed by the Thursday Night triumph against the Bengals. I will be in the stands in Cincinnati tonight. I'm not telling you to believe in Johnny Manziel; I'm telling you to believe in me!!

Bengals 40, Browns 12

Tomorrow marks 20 years since Art's press conference at Camden Yards. But, for some reason, the history books claim we only went three years without an NFL team...
Bengals 27, Browns 13

Today was going pretty Good then I heard Donald Trump is going on SNL and today got even better lol. Finally the world can see how funny and charming Donald is and not some loudmouth obnoxious jerk like the Boo York Slimes and other Liberal rag "newspapers" say he is.

Bengals 37, Browns 17

Browns lose a nail biter. "What's a nail biter? You should know, you bunch of losers." -Donald Trump