"If you're playing basketball in
Cleveland, you should be the happiest player in the NBA. You should. For a decade, it was maroon, maroon, maroon — and what happened? You got marooned. It's been two years since you-know-who left. It's time for a new you, and here it is: French's mustard with Heinz script. It's young, it's exciting, and when I see it I immediately want to put the whole thing on my hot dog. It's only an alternate uniform, it's true. But it's one that says things are looking up: We've still got Kyrie Irving, and we just know he'll be thrilled to spend many nights for many years wearing this and not totally ripping our hearts out. Right, Kyrie?"