Yesterday an ambitious, creative, devious Ohio State backer managed to hack the M_chigan football Instagram page and change the avatar to Brutus, and Instagram a picture of Brutus taking his frustrataion out on a Maize-and-Blue pinata. Awesome.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
|Just say no!|
Oh who knows. This maybe should be the "Loser Leaves Town Match" indeed. Smart play from Campbell, however, should get the Browns an easy victory.
This is game will not be fun to watch as both teams will struggle with the cold. Browns pull out the game at the end, finally we can say the Browns are clearly the better team.
If this franchise wants to emerge from its "typical Browns" stereotype of clownish incompetence, winning games within the division is paramount. A victory today would give Cleveland a guaranteed 3-3 record in the AFC North, so against my better judgment, I'm picking the Browns to take the duke.
Here's my BrownsTown pick
No Sunday shtick
We're taking down the Stillers
On a Cundiff kick
I have a bad feeling that the Pittsburgh D will have a plan for our one-dimensional offense... but since I'm off the entire week for Thanksgiving with a birthday thrown in, I'm in a good mood.
This may be the four helpings of Muni Lot Hobo Chili talking, but I really like the Browns today.
I remember wondering, when the Steelers were 0-4, whether they would end up with a better record than the Browns.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Yes it's true, we have a friend who claims he doesn't exist on the internet. No facebook, no Tumblr, no tweeting nor Foursquaring. But once in a while he fires off an email, likely from his IBM PC Jr., and this time it included some How Come Quickies. One had to be edited out since it was such a private joke, between just one of our college roommates and Les Levine, circa mid-1990s.
How come in Fantasy we start 2 RBs and 2 Recievers?
How come we run Trent out of town because of yards per carry but Obby goes 4.5, 4.6, 3.8 and 5.3 in the last 4 years and can't get any carries?
How come nobody rushes for more than 441 yards in a game in 18 years and 2 do it this year in D3?
How come Missouri is considered good and their top two wins were against two teams not even in the BCS top 25 anymore, Florida and Georgia?
How come people think FSU schedule is so much tougher when they each will have played one top 25 BCS team at the end of the year? And if we win out we play Michigan St in the championship game and if they win out they play Duke in the championship team. And Michigan State is better in basketball and football than Duke.
How come people are too stupid to not see what I see?
How come people think the SEC is so great but a team the Big 10 wouldn't take leads their east division just a year after joining the SEC?
How come the SEC does not sponsor Men's soccer?
How come LSU's biggest wins are against TCU 4-7 and Florida 4-6, I'd say Auburn too, but their only win is against Texas A&M (who is crap).
How can anyone look at South Carolina's and Texas A&M's schedule and put them ahead of Michigan St? I could respect Fresno State and Northern Illinois ahead of Michigan St more.
How come even though Kyrie has missed a handful of game winners this year I still want him to have it 100% of the time.
How come Kyrie has had so many opportunities for game winners in 3 years?
How come at the beginning of the year when I watched Toledo almost beat Florida and play Missouri I though it would of been a big upset? Now I think they should be favored if they played now? (Answer: Kareem Hunt is now playing and averaging 6.8 a carry, finally getting some carries the last 4 games averaging around 130 a game)
How come it means more to lose to Alabama then to beat other teams?
How come the last round of Family Feud is worth more than all the other rounds?
How come the Cavs do not recognize how good CJ Miles is playing?
How come Pryor gets suspended for 5 game for trading autographs for tatoos but Johnny Football gets a 1/2 game suspension for selling for cash? And Peter Warrick got 2 games for shoplifting by using his status as a football player?
How come I can write a long email and not an article?
Sunday, November 17, 2013
So someone found an until-now-nobody-even-knew-it-existed 1946 trophy from the Cleveland Browns 1946 season?
Shit--just make replicas and t-shirts and keep the fans' hope alive for another year, because today the 'new' Browns tried to trample it
|Remember this? Nope? Nobody else does either.|
Seriously, I'm shocked to care this much about the Browns in mid November after that 0-2 start. Biggest game in years? Who knows. But they should be able to win with Campbell.
No pick this week
No pick this week.
Today is a massive swing game not just for the season, but for the franchise. My head advises caution but my heart says, "What the hell, why not today?"
Look, nobody in town handicaps the Browns like the Vox. I went 11-2 in this space last year and I'm leading CST with a 7-2 mark this season. But this week is rough; I've changed my mind at least a dozen times. And it's because I want this game so badly. So, Hello Again Browns...like Neil Diamond famously crooned "I put my heart above my head."
Let's all take a deep breath. I like where this team is headed and actually have confidence in the coaching staff... something I haven't had since they settled on Chris Palmer in '99. But Cleveland fans are the Rick Grimes of the NFL - every time we think we've made a break through, a flesh eating walker, nut-job Governor, or dangerous virus is there to knock us back a whole bunch of steps. I refuse to let my guard down this time.
This would make me happy.
I want to believe. Sports radio says this is the biggest game in 6, maybe 29 years. But I've seen this show before.
This week Facebook got back to her roots with another self-indulgent exercise. You don't even need an official note this time around: a friend simply gives you a random number, and off you go with another brilliant list about you! And, truth be told, nothing comes easier than Me-Copy when you're needing to fill space. That means I can type some quick Vox tidbits and I'll be done here in twenty minutes. That's twice as long as Terry Pluto spends on his articles. Just joking, Terry. I think. OK, off with the horns, on with column. FYI, five is not an arbitrary value. It's the number of Browns wins (and losses) in just a few hours.
1. I'm in a column slump, and have to write my way out of it. I've been tormented by Miss Ryder Block for most of my creative life. And I know as well as anyone-- sometimes you have to tell Winona to pack up her shit and go. Then you grind out some words. Doesn't mean they'll add up to much, but at least you produced. Hey, Bud Shaw has been slumping for twenty+ years, but he keeps busting jokes and collecting paychecks. Just kidding, Bud. I still read you.
SG Vinny "The Microwave" Johnson
C Vitaly Potapenko
PF John "Hot Rod" Williams
SF Xavier McDaniel
Reserves: F/C John Salley, F/C Christian Laettner, F Dennis Rodman, F AC Green, G Delonte West, G Bob Sura, G Isiah Thomas, G Gary Payton, G Aaron Craft
5. I play Blackjack by the book. There's really no other way to do it if you want to generate a profit. But I cannot bring myself to split 8s against a 9 or a 10. I know I'm statistically wrong, but how can I make that play while still assuming the dealer's hole card is a ten? I have a similar dilemna when it comes to even-money if I've blackjacked against the Dealer's Ace. I can't resist and always take my even payout, but I know that's costing me money in the long term. Am I a defective gambler or do all humans have illogical blind spots? I need to know, so please email me your thoughts. And a column idea or two if you don't mind. I'm dry for next week. Let me make you famous. But first I'll make you rich...
Saints (-3) over 49ers, 1 dime
Broncos (-8.5) over Chiefs, 1 dime
Last week: No Action
Season: 10-11-1 (-1 Dime)
Monday, November 11, 2013
For those of you looking for something special this holiday season for the Ohio State fan in your life, the "Tattoo-Gate" Championship ring is once again for sale on Ebay. According to the seller "This may be the single most famous piece of Ohio State memorabilia available! This ring was the start of the Tattoo Scandal involving former Ohio State players Terrelle Pryor, Boom Herron, Devier Posey, Mike Adams, Solomon Thomas, former coach Jim Tressel, and tattoo shop owner Ed Rife."
The bid price is $16,499, and it sold for $18,100 back in June which means i'ts practically 10% off. Only 43 days until Christmas.
Check out the full auction listing using the link above or by clicking here.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
So I am a week or two behind in my handy-dandy The Onion desk calendar. I didn't notice until today the October 17 entry, which apparently is a rerun of a 2010 image of Browns fans'. Not too shabby. "Impassioned Fan Base Just Drunk" is quite humorous, I must say. Of course they could have chosen many fan bases for this--but it takes a certain amount of alcohol to make watching a Browns game in person over the past dozen years actually bearable.
By the way, this appears to be a picture from a game that you really needed a drink after. The 2010 Jets game, where the Browns came in after beating the Patriots and Saints, and lost in overtime, with :16 seconds left, on a Santonio Holmes TD. This game is remembered for the mole the Jets placed on the Browns roster, one Chansi Stuckey, once drafted by the Jets, who fumbled the ball in overtime as the Browns were driving toward field goal range.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Let's remember, the Browns nearly beat the Ravens in Baltimore, with Brandon Weeden and without Josh Gordon. Now, no Weeden and at home...can't really pick against them.
There will be good times on the lakefront today. These are not the same old Browns, and not the same Ravens teams from years past. The defense has a chip on its shoulder and will take it out on the defending champs.
The Browns have been plagued by slow starts these last two weeks. Now that the quarterback position is as settled as it's going to get, it's the defense that's going to make plays to pull out the squeaker against the Super Bowl champs.
My lock of the season, so far.
I don't know what's more perplexing: The optimism following three straight losses or the fact that everyone in Berea thought Weeden was the best choice of the 3 quarterbacks to start the season.
We almost beat them with Brandon Weeden at QB, I didn't realize it at the time but that says a lot. If the Browns have any hope of keeping this season entertaining they MUST WIN this game!
(Kevin: "He's not the best color man in the league for nothing, folks.")
|Arnold, Mr. Drummond & Jarrett Jack|
Last July, using classic Vox hyperbole, I declared Jarrett Jack to be the greatest free agent signing in Cleveland Sports history. For ten minutes in the first half of the home opener, he may have been. But he can't even beat out Dion Waiters??!!
Last week: No Action
Two weeks ago: 3-2 (+1 Dime)
Season: 9-11-1 (-6 Dimes)