Not much to be thankful for going into Hate Weekend

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No matter who you are, I'm hoping you found something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving season. Work developments, a family situation, some personal accomplishment, your team making the playoffs, etc. Well, if you're like me, that last one is so laughable I need to get a towel to clean the coffee off my keyboard.  I guess you can be thankful that the powers that be have indeed given Cleveland fans a true Hate Weekend to finish off Thanksgiving week, kicked off by Ohio State vs. that team up north, followed by Cavs and Miami Heat, and punctuated by the Browns vs. mighty Charlie Batch and the Pittsburgh Steelers.

While Ohio State has played well enough to coast through their Big Ten schedule, procuring tattoos for merchandise and a lying coach has ensured that today's game against the team in blue is their only bowl game. I don't really know how this Buckeyes team would match up against an SEC powerhouse, but it would be nice to have the chance. But not nearly as nice as it would be to play the over-shined helmet-wearing Notre Damers. Wow, did social media explode last Saturday when it became apparent they would jump into #1. I'm tired of hearing about them already. "How do you know when someone you're talking to went to Notre Dame? Because they already told you as soon as you met." Although even the Catholic Football Faithful have to be shaken a little bit with this curse-inviting SI cover that I found in my mailbox yesterday.

Unfortunately, having an overachieving Ohio State team who is disqualified from any postseason glory is as good as it gets for this fan. 

The only race that the Cavs and Browns are currently involved in is the race to cover the Mendoza Line. The Cavs, at 3-9 (25%), are not showing the growth expected of them, and it's not going to get any better with Kyrie Irving out for a few weeks. Meanwhile, the Browns are right on the famous line, at 2-8 (20%), a clip that would get you kicked out of first grade. And the way they keep losing is just ridiculous. I mean how many games can they give away at the end? Brandon Weeden has alternated between shaky and solid, and the defense has suffered through missing personnel and boneheaded plays, but at the end of the day, the coaching situation is untenenable. Pat Shurmer Face is haunting me in my sleep right now.

Be thankful for all that you can this Hate Weekend. At least we have a team, right? Right?

What we think will happen vs. the Cowboys (Week 11)

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Cleveland Browns vs. Dallas Cowboys (Week 11)

November 18, 2012

Brian	Browns 23 Cowboys 13	The Cowboys are a team with vastly overrated talent and a terrible coach. The Browns...well, at least the talent isn't overrated. I'm gonna stay with my orange-colored glasses and think the Browns' rookies put one together.
Tom	Cowboys 24 Browns 17	For the first half Cowboys Stadium intimidates the Browns and the Cowboys jump out to an early lead. To little to late in this soon to be lame duck season.
Doug	Cowboys 27 Browns 14	The bye week has ended with drama around Berea, as Josh Cribbs voiced frustration with his role. This back-biting is a sign of a coaching staff in trouble. Things could get ugly in Big D this week.
SamVox	Cowboys 31 Browns 17	Still reeling this morning from Cleveland's dismal effort vs. Dallas last night. No reason to believe this afternoon will be any different.
Kevin	Cowboys 28 Browns 24	Without Joe Haden, it could be an early Thanksgiving feast for Cowboys QB Tony Romo and his receiving corp.
Ryan	Cowboys 24  Browns 20	Another frustrating loss. Browns defense struggles with or without Haden.
Sean	Brown 27 Cows 24	Browns pull off upset on the road. Dawson puts up W for the good guys.

Bye-bye: What to look for in Browns' final seven games

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"So, you like...stuff?"

The Browns travel to Dallas on Sunday after what was hopefully a fruitful bye week. There are still two months left in the season, and before the depressing NFL draft discussion really cranks up as it does in Cleveland around Thanksgiving most every year, what else is there for Browns fans to ponder over the final seven games?

What we think will happen today in the Election! (Special Edition!)

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2012 Election

November 6, 2012

Every week the tortured fans here at Cleveland Sports Torture make ill advised picks of the Browns, Buckeyes, Cavaliers, or Indians. But today I thought I'd do something different. Like make ill-informed predictions for the election. What's that, you say? I guess you probably have missed the election advertising for the past million few months. I guess, then, you might think our predictions mean something!  Note, this is a PREDICTION, not necessarily a PREFERENCE. But judge for yourself.

(Yes, I know that it's after 9PM on Election night, but I assure you this was written on Monday night. The other writers at CST are still in line to vote.)

Brian

Electoral Vote: Obama: 290, 51.1% Romney: 248, 48.9% Ohio: Obama 51.7% Romney 48.3% Brown: 54.3% Mandel: 45.7%

The Republican party has tried to blame Barack Obama for everything (a) that they left for him and that (b) they wouldn't let him fix since their Day One goal of getting him out of office. Surprisingly enough, their Ever Incompetent Extreme Ideological Obstructionist (E-I-E-I-O) policy didn't work, despite the way too slow road back from recession and partisanship shown by the President. In other news, should Josh Mandel win this election, I fully expect to see him running for Prez come 2020.

What we think will happen vs. the Ravens today (Week 9)

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Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns

November 4, 2012

Brian	Browns 24 Ravens 20	Home game. Ravens. So close last time. Old team. Young team. Once in a while things need to work out.
Tom	Ravens 20 Browns 17	The Ravens are on a decline, and the Browns are on the upswing. The Browns lose a heartbreaker as the Ravens pull off another division win.
Doug	Ravens 21 Browns 17	Each week, the Browns make incremental strides in the direction of respectability. That inchworm-like progress continues today, although it won't be enough to beat the injured-riddled (but still dangerous) Ravens.
SamVox	Browns 27 Ravens 10	John Harbaugh and Paul Ryan both attended Miami University and will suffer significant losses just two days apart. There are no coincidences in my box, as The Vox improves to 9-0 in this space.
Kevin	Ravens 21 Browns 20	The Browns are improving, it seems, every week but the 2 wins have been a bit of "fool's gold" in my opinion. Without some of the Ravens defensive leaders, the Browns have a chance, but the bad guys have just enough talent and experience to pull it out in the end.
Ryan	Browns 24 Ravens 17	Once again, hope is alive.
Sean	Ravens 28 Browns 14	Going to pick against the local experts (radio callers). Their optimism is unreal.