Sunday, September 12, 2010

Vox Lox (week 1)

Hello hello. The Vox magically and methodically escapes that Box of his and now fulfills his promise seventeen months ago to return to the promised land.
In 2007, I released many of my picks on NEON's The Daily Dose but the show was unfortunately cancelled. In 2008, Vox Pix was born and I busted out another winning season. After taking off 2009 for personal reasons, the Vox returns in 2010 for another twenty one weeks of give'em hell handicapping. Now, this column will once again validate the Vox as northeast Ohio's premier handicapper and, best of all, my selections are completely complimentary! All we ask is that you read Vox religiously, bet responsibly, and realize that I cannot and will not win every game. Anybody in this business that claims they can is a fraud. What I will do is build your bankroll through disciplined decisions. While you are up nights worrying about whether to start Nate Burleson or Donald Driver for your fantasy team, I will be doing the necessary legwork to expose each week's oddsmaker error(s).
Week One is always a dangerous proposition. Still, the lines simply aren't as sharp in the first month of the season as they will be by week 6, when Vegas has a vise grip on the habits and trends of all 32 NFL squads. Today, I'll roll with two dimes each on two roadies:
Browns (+3) over Tampa (BITCHES!)
(Adapting voice of The Most Interesting Man in the World) I don't often bet the Browns, but, when I do....I like action on their games early in the year. After following the daily growth of every blade of grass in Berea throughout training camp (thanks, Mary Cay Cabot and Tony Grossi), I am in a better position to handicap their week one match-up than the national pros. Following their fluke record in 2007, the bloated Browns were only 5.5-point underdogs against Dallas in the season opener. And although I will never bet money against the Browns, I pounced on this oddsmaker error and released it as my Pick of the Week. The Cowboys covered easily. It's just the opposite this year, and Cleveland is undervalued. This game should be a PICK game, so I'll happily take the three points and take my first bite out of the Crookie.
49ers (-3) over Seattle
The media loves giving hand jobs to Mike Singletary, and that's going to continue this afternoon in the press conference after San Fran's blowout win. Yet again, I predict Seattle will catch some bad karma this season-- retribution, no doubt, for that commercial in 2007 featuring Matt Hasselbeck's slap-the-face dance move. And his annoying social conservative sister-in-law.
Last week: N/A
2009 Season: N/A
2008 Season: 29-21-3
2007 Season: 20-12-2
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Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 49-33-5 against the spread with his Vox Pix over two seasons. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at Cleveland Sports Torture.

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