Sunday, January 22, 2012

Vox Lox: Championship Sunday 2012

To be honest, I don't even need the championship to be happy.

My CST bio claims I'll never find contentment until Cleveland reaches the promised land, but that's a bit of the Vox shtick. Truthfully, the long playoff runs sustain me. Yes, the gut punch/death grip in the final act is tragic and demoralizing, but the weeks of victory and anticipation leading up to the inevitable fall are my drug of choice. Of course, I want the ring to validate our suffering: for my town and my Mom, for Earnest Byner, Craig Ehlo, Mike Hargrove and my damaged psyche, but some of the happiest moments of my life have occurred May 1984, January 1990, May 1992, and October 2007-- when the dream has become a half-reality, and we're practically shaking hands with the demons we've longed to exorcise. Insert any half-ass cliche about the fulfilling journey here, and I'll buy in.

What I won't buy is hype, future promises, and the acceptance of losing day in and day out. As a Cleveland Sports Fan approaching three decades, I'm only interested in meaningful games and I'll hibernate until they happen. Fuck progress. Fuck the rebuild. Fuck the NFL draft. Fuck your combine and your mini-camp. Fuck the pre-season. Fuck "pitchers and catchers report." Fuck your trip to Goodyear. Fuck your pitching prospects mowing 'em down in AA. Fuck the NBA Lottery. Fuck the trade deadline and your exemption. Fuck Harrison Barnes and RG3. Fuck Fausto and his fake ID. Fuck your cap room and your coordinator. Fuck the D-League and your farm system. Fuck your OTAs and time to implement your offense. Fuck patience. Wake me up on game day.
Today's Plays:
Pats (-7) over Ravens, 4 dimes
Giants (+3) over Niners, 2 dimes
Last week: 1-1 (even)
Season: 29-27-3 (+3 dimes)
Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 85-71-8 against the spread with his Vox Lox over three seasons. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at Cleveland Sports Torture.