Saturday, January 4, 2014

Vox Lox: Wild Card Weekend 2014

Twenty years...where'd they go?
Twenty freaking fourteen. Maybe it won't be a milestone year, but it is undeniably an anniversary year in Vox's view...

50 years since Cleveland's last major championship.

40 years since I took a ride down the birth canal.

30 years since the greatest twelve months in pop culture history: The Making of Thriller, Born in the USA, Purple Rain, Van Halen's Jump, Hulk Hogan leg-dropped The Iron Sheik and won the WWF title, Saturday Night Live was at it's absolute peak, MTV launched the VMAs and Madonna took over the world, Gremlins, Ghostbusters, Karate Kid, Revenge of the Nerds, Beverly Hills Cop, The Cosby Show, Family Ties & Cheers, the L.A. Summer Olympics, Where's the Beef?, Michael Jackson's hair caught fire while shooting a Pepsi commercial, the other MJ entered the NBA, Doug Flutie's Hail Mary, and, on two very personal notes- Alex Tarnoczi, at the Richfield Coliseum, headed home a game winning overtime goal to knock the Spirit out of the playoffs and Bono called you out for giving thanks you weren't starving in Ethiopia. And I only scratched the surface, friends. 1984 was so seminal and phenomenal, I remember nothing of my life before it and virtually every moment after- because it marked the year I would devote the rest of my existence to devouring and deflowering popular culture.

20 years since the opening of Jacobs Field and World Series cancellation, OJ fleeing in his Bronco, The Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, Kurt Cobain's suicide, Nancy Kerrigan, the Crunch's first championship, did I mention OJ in his Bronco?

10 years since I married Mrs. ExVox. You know, before we unmarried.

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I ain't much for resolutions anymore. Even the most well-constructed plans will blow up in your face like you were Gus Fring. But I do start every calendar year with the same goal: pick all eleven NFL playoff point spread winners.

Chargers (+7) over Bengals, 3 dimes
Colts (-2.5) over Chiefs, 2 dimes
Eagles (-2.5) over Saints, 1 dime
Packers (+3) over 49ers, 1 dime

November 17th: 3-2 (+1 Dime)
Season: 12-12-1 (even)

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Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 137-119-12 against the spread with his Vox Lox over six seasons for a net profit of over 30 units. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at CST.