|Do you trust these men?|
Monday, December 30, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Browns suspend entire team for "conduct detrimental to the team." But Squealers still don't sneak into the playoffs.
This is what I get for huffing butane on a Sunday morning.
The best thing about the season coming to an end is that we won't have to hear any Browns' talk for five months...he said wistfully.
Feeling very Phil Leotardo-ish this morning. And when the last word has been written, the world will look back on December 2013 and say, "that was the month that finally broke the Vox." No more, Butchy...No more o' this.
Seems like yesterday the Steelers were 0-4 and the Browns were challenging for the division lead. It's hard to decide which turnaround is more impressive.
Another fabulous ending to another fabulous season.
Super stoked about what's going to be a FUN and EXCITING off-season here in Browns Town USA. Listen for me on Bull and Fox Show daily as I break down the draft position by position. I go under the name 'Da Browns Freak' so make sure to tune in lol. You are my moon and stars, Browns. I love you.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
|If only Anthony Bennett let off this kind of steam (Trust me, that's funny).|
Monday, December 23, 2013
|It's been a rough first year for Banner and Co.|
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Because when draft position is at stake is when the Browns pull off a victory.
If the Browns have a meaningless win in them, this will be the week to do it. However, expect them to stay the course with the end of the season mercifully in sight.
The smell of hospitals in winter and the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls...Adam Duritz ain't got nothing on Cleveland! Because what could be more tedious and depressing than any activity associated with the Browns in these annually-long Decembers?
It's the annual win-to-learn-how-win vs. lose-for-a-higher-draft-pick" debate. Either way, does it really matter? If they don't screw up the draft, one of our key players will be bit by a rattlesnake while hiking with friends just outside of Vegas and need his leg amputated. Literally snake-bitten–get it? I'll be at the Improv next week.
The defense finally holds onto a 4th quarter lead.
Rex Ryan is sexy.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Bear with me here. (No pun intended.) I live in Chicago, so am subjected to nonstop Bears, Blackhawks, and Bulls chatter in the local media and around all my Chicago-based friends and coworkers. (Those who aren't talking about the Packers, Lions, Tigers, Brewers, Cardinals, Indians, Buckeyes, Boilermakers, Badgers, Wolverines, Spartans, or Rams non-stop, which now that I think about it in this melting pot of the midwest, is only about 40% of them.)
Sunday, December 8, 2013
After this weekend I might give myself a concussion to forget about the Browns and Buckeyes.
If the Patriots didn't almost lay an egg last week the Browns might have been able to catch them sleeping. Not going to happen now as Belichick will have them ready. How many more weeks until the draft?
In a quarterback driven league the Browns are tooling around in an '86 Dodge Omni.
Nobody buys into the "Any Given Sunday" mantra more than the Vox. I believe the line between the NFL's good teams and bad teams is thinner than the iPad Air. There's always a chance for victory. Always. Except for today.
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," which means Browns games don't matter except for draft position.
It only took me 13 weeks to convince myself that the Browns suck.
Browns, Schmowns. I'll be watching 'The Sound of Music Live' on DVR. I don't care what anyone says, Carrie Underwood is tremendously talented. She killed it and the haters can just go drink their haterade lol.
As I sit in line at a Bob Evans in nowhere, Indiana, I just can't stop shaking my damn head, and not because I'm jonesing for sausage gravy.
Ohio State's loss in the Big Ten championship just became the latest in the never-ending trail of gut punches suffered by (northern) Ohio fans.
What. The. Hell. Was. That?
It's not like I thought Michigan State would be a walkover. And I got all the pregame howls about the strength of the SEC and the weakness of the Big Ten. But I did not expect the Buckeyes to come out and shit the bed like that.
And by the Buckeyes I mean the defense/special teams and the coaching staff.
The extremely partisan crowd (I'd put it at 80% red, 20% green, which actually made it very festive for the season) was immediately put in a bad mood by two terrible pass interferences and a punt reception interference, three idiotic plays that no accomplished team should make. After the coaches went away early from the unstoppable Carlos Hyde, and the OSU DBs forgot to guard people, all of a sudden Sparty was up 17-0.
And yet I don't think many fans were nervous yet. With a couple quick scores and one more after halftime, all of a sudden it was tied up and soon it was 24-17 good guys.
So what did the brilliant OSU coaches do next? (And for once we are not picking on Luke Fickell.) Abandoned the horse they rode in on, the aforementioned Carlos Hyde. Even on busted runs up the middle Mr. Hyde gets four yards, and if he gets a head of steam it's more like eight or ten. Summarized perfectly up by trying a Braxton Miller run on the critical 4th and 1.5 that basically sealed the game for Michigan State, while Carlos could just block, and MSU completed its 17 point bookend and won, 24-17.
Inexcusable lapses by the coaches and defense. Heartbreaking walk through the cold for the throngs of long faced Buckeyes fans. And a long few weeks coming for the team, who has to know that they can beat Sparty 6 or 7 times out of ten.
And OSU would beat Auburn 8 out of ten times. Although at this rate those games would be 70-63.
Whether Florida State or Auburn really is the best team in the country, nobody knows or ever will. But I suspect not.
Thank goodness for the playoff system starting next year. Even though Ohio State would likely be watching on television if it were in place this year.
Uggh. An Orange Bowl vs Clemson sounds about as much fun as the Sugar Bowl versus Texas A&M in January 1999. Which is after the last ridiculous loss to Michigan State.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
|I'm singin' to myself, there's got to be another way.|
Sunday, December 1, 2013
These are the veggies you have to eat after yesterday's wonderful football buffet. Time to put the Christmas lights up.
Another December to forget. Winning games or playing for a draft pick, which is more important? Who knows--we can't seem to do either right.
With the boo birds out in full force, Weeden lays an egg.
You have entered a strangely familiar place of sight and sound. A place of boredom toward your favorite football team, where every snap is no longer your No. 1 priority on fall Sundays. Take my hand, friend, because you have entered..the Browns Apathy Zone.
The Browns were humbled the past two weeks, and so was the Vox, but I think we'll find a win today. Vegas, however, should know our pal BWeeds should never lay a touchdown to any NFL team. Hell, I'm not even sure Weeden should be favored against the Mentor Cardinals.
I figure Weeden's good for at least one incredibly disastrous play. Along with too many 3-and-outs by the offense, the defense eventually wears down enough to let the Jags squeak out an ugly victory.
Brandon Weeden flips off the crowd like Marcus Hall.
How now bad Browns?
It's not like your normal Ohio State-Michigan game lacks drama, hype, passion, heartbreak, and glory. But 2013's edition lived up to the hype and more, and kicked off the amazing day in college football we just experienced. Ohio State came into The Big House as a huge favorite, in the 14-16 point range, and the pitiful Michigan offense promised to make this a cakewalk.
|Nobody has run for more yards for OSU v Michigan. Ever. (AP/Carlos Osorio)|
.....and the Ohio State bus as well (as shown on the Instagram video captured by Ohio State WR Frank Epitropoulos.
Now what? Likely today's polls will have Florida State the new #1, and Ohio State the new #2. Likely (but not as likely), if Ohio State takes care of business against MSU and Auburn beats Missouri in the SEC Championship game, Ohio State will still make the BCS Championship game as an undefeated major-conference team (vs. Auburn, who's bigger wins also come with a loss to 3-loss LSU this year.) But that will come with howling from every corner of the sports-talk blogosphere. And to be honest, I can see the point. Auburn beat #1 Alabama, Texas A&M, and lots more. Ohio State didn't. But that's the way the ball rolls sometimes. Wins and losses count too. And moreso, so do votes.
Nobody wants a playoff more than me, but in this case, we don't have one. And if for some reason, (if they beat Michigan State and) Ohio State gets jobbed out of a place in the BCS Championship for a one-loss SEC team, there will be no justice in this world. Which is a shame, because Saturday showed how great college football can be. And once we have a playoff, it will be that much better.