Sunday, October 13, 2013

Vox Lox: QB Rankings

In case you hadn't heard it a thousand times from some talking head with fake teeth and a bad accent or speech impediment, the NFL is a quarterbacks league. A decade ago, with a crazy-stacked defense, you could win the Super Bowl with Brad Johnson or Trent Dilfer.  But, the way the game is constructed nowadays, your pocket-passer QB will eventually have to get Justin Timberlake-hot to make a deep playoff run. That's not necessarily a bad thing, either. It certainly has made the formula for winning more crystal clear than ever. The QB has always been the most important position in pro sports, but, in this era, he holds a nearly divine status. He's the face of your franchise and possibly carries your city's economy, along with the rest of your team, on his famous and fragile back. He is the sole reason for your Sunday mood swings. He is the first player your child can identify by name. Elevated, berated or clouded in controversy, QB1 is the main character in almost every chapter you write as a football fan. Why else would the Vox engage in such a mainstream and mundane activity as ranking the starting quarterbacks? 

32-28: How many points is your bookie giving? 

32. Blaine Gabbert
31, Mike Glennon
30. Brandon Weeden
29. Christian Ponder

28-23: Pick Six

28. Carson Palmer
27, Matt Schaub
26, Cam Newton
25. Sam Bradford
24. Eli Manning
23. Ben Roethlisberger

22-18: Incompetently Competent

22. EJ Manuel
21, Geno Smith
20. Andy Dalton
19. Joe Flacco
18. Robert Griffin III

17-13: Disrespected Every Time They Drop Back to Pass But Making You Pay Anyway

17, Ryan Tannehill
16, Terrelle Pryor
15. Jake Locker
14. Alex Smith
13. Phillip Rivers

12-8: Soft-Hard Yet? 

12. Jay Cutler
11. Michael Vick
10. Russel WIlson
9. Matthew Stafford
8. Matt Ryan

7-1: Straight Ballers, Shot Callers

7. Colin Kaepernick
6. Andrew Luck
5. Aaron Rogers
4. Drew Brees
3. Tom Brady
2. Tony Romo
1. Peyton Manning

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Packers (-2.5) over Ravens, 1 dime
Broncos (-27) over Jaguars, 1 dime
Jets (-2.5) over Stillers, 1 dime
Bills (+7) over Bengals, 1 dime
Chargers (-1.5) over Colts, 1 dime

Last week: No Action
Two weeks ago: 1-2 (-2 dimes)
Season: 4-6-1 (-6 dimes)