I'm sick of people in other cities telling me how good Brandon Weeden is. Just get a damn "W."
Weather drags the Chargers to a halt. Browns pull off the upset.
As bad as the Browns are, they've been in most every game this year. That trend will continue today, with the young roster learning another harsh lesson at the hands of the 'Bolts.
I'm the only CST 'capper to correctly pick every game this season, but I'm befuddled today. My imaginary friends at SanDiegoSportsTorture.com are backing the Brownies, so I'll play my hunch and eat Norv's lunch.
It's Sunday, so that means The Walking Dead returns for another heart-pounding episode. Oh, and that show about zombies is on again tonight. Coach Shurmur, not be confused with one of those emotionless flesh eaters, is Dead Man Walking. I see almost no scenario where he's coaching this team next year.
Browns keep it close, but the rookies struggle to close out the game again.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Over at Fox Sports Ohio, a good interview with the Cleveland Indians Mark Shapiro was posted yesterday by Pat McManamon.
It's the first long interview I can remember Shapiro giving in a long time that touches on a lot of the topics fans want to know about.
One of the more
interesting unsettling quotes...
On the belief from us fans that if more people show up to games, more money will be spent:
"I think more people will come. But the challenge is 2.2 million instead of 1.6 million doesn't change the way we operate. Even that extra 500,000, 600,000 people, even if that's $10-to-15 more million in revenue a year . . . one win in free agency is $9 million. So you're not going to change the context. Again, I don't think people want to intellectualize baseball, and I don't believe you should have to intellectualize baseball . . . and we've made a conscious decision in most of our interviews not to get into these topics and just stay positive and talk about what our aspirations are.
But that revenue swing between 1.5 million in attendance and 2.2 million in attendance . . . meaningful dollars but not dollars that will have us plan dramatically different."
You can read the full interview here.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
|Not related, if you can believe that!|
"If you're playing basketball in
Cleveland, you should be the happiest player in the NBA. You should. For a decade, it was maroon, maroon, maroon — and what happened? You got marooned. It's been two years since you-know-who left. It's time for a new you, and here it is: French's mustard with Heinz script. It's young, it's exciting, and when I see it I immediately want to put the whole thing on my hot dog. It's only an alternate uniform, it's true. But it's one that says things are looking up: We've still got Kyrie Irving, and we just know he'll be thrilled to spend many nights for many years wearing this and not totally ripping our hearts out. Right, Kyrie?"
New Browns owner Jimmy Haslam brought some high powered political friends to Browns training yesterday. I guess now we know what end of the political spectrum Mr. Haslam falls on! (His brother is, after all, the Republican governor of Tennessee.)
The more legitimate guest was lifelong Browns fan (and former National Security Advisor and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice.) Rice is long on record supporting the Browns since her childhood in Alabama. Many a Browns fan was raised by parents who loved watching (or listening to) Jim Brown run during the Browns' Glory Days.
More recently, Rice was featured in a print campaign for the NFL's line of women's gear, rocking a Josh Cribbs jersey. No matter what your politics are, it's pretty cool to have someone that powerful as your team's supporter. Not that it did a hell of a lot of good through the disastrous Bush administration. (For the record, I mean a disastrous eight years for the Cleveland football world.)
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Apparently there are repercussions for utter failure and disgraceful performance. And I guess new Browns owner has seen enough by looking over the Browns' roster and their play over the last 2-1/2 years, becuase Jimmy Haslam's first act as new owner today seems to be giving Browns team president the boot.
Holmgren's strength certainly seems to be in coaching, not "general managing", so hopefully the naming of former Philadelphia Eagles president and Denison (Ohio) University graduate Joe Banner as CEO/President brings a change in fortune to the north coast. And this seems to spell good things for GM Tom Heckert, who worked for years with Banner in Philadelphia.
|(Courtesy Fox Sports)|
Monday, October 15, 2012
I take summers off from writing. Believe me, it's for the best. CST gets a break from Vox vulgarities, and I focus on rejuvenating activities like running, reading, swimming with the kids, the NBA Finals/Draft and chasing skirts. Tbh, I rarely miss my column. Except when something culturally significant happens. Like on June 28, when Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. Now, typically, celebrity splits never phase me- as long as Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgewick stay together- I couldn't care less about Hollywood couples. Until the relationship starts fucking with art, which is exactly what happened when Katie and Tom began dating in 2005...cue Cruise's couch jumping and career decline. See, for nearly two decades before Katie, Tom's cinematic prowess was unmatched. He had a run of films that are so incredibly important to me, I must consider him the most influential actor of my lifetime even if my heart belongs to Ethan Hawke and Eric Stoltz. So when Katie cited "irreconciable differences" four months ago, I felt more reconciliation than my usual indifference. She can finally go back to Dawson (or Pacey?) and Tom can start making movies that matter again. Roll his top ten, please:
10. Jerry Maguire
Hard to believe it's been over fifteen years since Jerry Mafuckinguire; it had mass appeal thanks to Cameron Crowe's script and direction. Some rapid fire questions: Does it feel a bit dated now? Of course. Did I ever buy Cruise's relationship with Zellweger? No, no, no. Is Bob Sugar still one of the great white collar villains in recent history? Yes! Did the catch phrases "Show me the Money" and "You had me at hello" get old after ten minutes? Hell to the yes. Did the Cardinals overpay for Rod Tidwell? Definitely.
For a mega-talent like Cruise, it's almost mind-blowing that he never has chemistry with his female lead. Even when he co-starred with his real life wife in Eyes Wide Shut, the love scenes felt manufactured. Unfortunately, Cocktail is no exception and rates with the majority of critics and moviegoers as the worst film in the Cruise cannon. I disagree. Waterfall. Elizabeth Shue. Enough said.
8. All the Right Moves
If Craig T. Nelson isn't cast to play Nickerson, does the sitcom Coach ever air? If the ABC sitcom Coach doesn't exist, do I watch NBC's In the Heat of the Night on Tuesday nights in 1990? If I watch In the Heat of the Night, do I naturally start watching Law & Order which immediately followed Heat? If I start watching Law and Order, do I develop a respect for that soulless, contrived drama that Mrs. ExVox and I could never agree on? If Mrs. ExVox and I start agreeing on shit, do I let her convince me to stop gambling? If I stop gambling, does Vox Lox ever exist? Thank goodness Craig T. Nelson played Coach Nickerson.
7. Top Gun
Top Gun is the story of a man struggling with his sexuality.
6. The Firm
Underrated thriller from the enigmatic Sydney Pollack. Gene Hackman gives a multi-layered, memorable performance but the real crime here is that his name does not appear on the release poster. Cruise had an agreement with Paramount that only his name will show above the movie title.
5. Interview with the Vampire
Cruise has been called a raging lunatic and a controlling misogynist (played out onscreen in Magnolia). Some extremists have even suggested he's actually a robot. But, like the landlady said to George Thorogood, that don't confront me. I support the artist, long as I get my rent, and Cruise pays in full with his chilling portrayal of Lestat.
4. Vanilla Sky
I wrote in Vox 22 that Crowe's adaption is a morality play about a playboy's mortality, and that Cruise's life-changing date with Penelope Cruz before the car wreck that deformed his face reminded me of the vibrant yet forever-unattainable Girl6. But I've since changed my mind. I now consider Vanilla to be a less violent, more romantic, and psychological companion piece to Total Recall. Which reminds me of Sharon Stone in her 80s leotard. And then Arnie clocks her like an RTA driver.
3. Born on the Fourth of July
Sitting in the theatre, this was the first time I realized how powerful a film can be. In 140 minutes, 14-year old Vox became anti-war, fell in love with Kyra Sedgewick, questioned our government, and declared Cruise's depiction of wounded vet Ron Kovic to be the most phenomenal acting since the ancient Greek Thespis of Dionysos invented the damn thing.
2. Rain Man
Cruise's coming out party as a serious thespian. It happens often in Hollywood. Hot young actor gets no respect from critics, then takes on challenging, dramatic role and feeds Variety a shitburger. Also see Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights, Brad Pitt in Fight Club and Ben Affleck in, never mind.
1. Eyes Wide Shut
Readers often ask about my favorite movie scene? Ferris in the art museum? The card game in Training Day (did you ever have your shit pushed in?)? Kelly Leak? No, brah. Here it is. And if should you ever make it up to the mansion, the password is fidelio.
Chargers over Broncos, 1 dime
Season: 2-2 (+3 dimes)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
|Something wicked this way comes...|
If the Browns could just put all the phases together. And if I had a nickle...anyway, I'm hoping the left coast changes my luck. I'll be watching with the Bay Area Browns Backers.
Joe Haden in his return from suspension, looks like he hasn't been playing football for 4 weeks. The Bengals have no trouble putting up points on the Browns. The offense for the Browns just doesn't score enough this Sunday.
With a new owner officially on board, the Shurmur death watch begins in earnest. It won't be this week, but the bell will soon be tolling for Mr. Personality.
If not now, then when?
The Shurmurnator strikes again, killing all hopes of a victory. But Judgement Day may be coming soon for this machine of destruction as a new owner rolls into town to provide salvation to our once proud franchise.
I know the Browns are 0-5, but I see improvement. I hate to say it but wins aren't that important this year. We need the young players to get some experience so we can make a leap next year. Weeden and Richardson show us why we should be excited and deliver our first win of 2012.
It's a Roadhouse Sunday. The Browns play the role of Ben Gazzara's "Brad Wesley". They just can't beat the philosopher/bouncer known simply as "Dalton".
Thursday, October 11, 2012
"It's basement Mecca."
|That ain't mud you're smelling down there.|
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Ohio State University Marching Band put on a hell of a videogame-inspired performance at halftime of the OSU-Nebraska game Saturday night, a game which coincidentally featured a videogame like score of 63-38.
I'm not one to wax poetic about the band, especially since a couple of self-important band members tried to start a fight with us way back in Columbus with the epic, ironic, angry words "What have you done with your life? I've dotted the 'i"!" But the pregame march down the field is a can't-miss for me. And I wish I had been at Ohio Stadium Saturday night for this halftime performance.
It includes tons of throwback references to Pac-Man, Zelda, Tetris, Space Invaders, and Mario, most of which the 19-year-olds in the band have no frigging clue what they're talking about. I guess Halo is in there for good measure.
Some highlights include:
Kicking off with Space Invaders at the beginning.
Tetris at 1:25.
The greatest theme in videogame history, Super Mario, starting about 1:50, with some question mark blocks.
The horse galloping down the field about 6:00.
Pac-man to Game Over at about 8:20.
I can't imagine how much practice this must have taken. Congrats.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Browns the only team in town now without an inspiring coach .
The Browns only chance against the champs is old school ball-control offense starring T-Rich. However, with Shurmur in the director's chair, this movie's almost certainly going to be a flop.
After watching Cleveland 95, I'm inspired to watch the game while I'm on the exercise bike. Never knew that Belichick had such nice legs.
I saw some crazy stat that the Browns have won the last three times they've played the defending Superbowl champs. Two words: Pat Shurmur.... make it three out of four.
Younger brother Eli continues his quest for respect...tonight on Boardwalk Empire. But first we'll watch the Browns do what they do best.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
|That's me, second from the left. With the mustache.|