Sunday, January 8, 2012
Vox Lox: If RGIII is Our Savior, Then I'm Your Irish Uncle
Posted by Tom at 11:00 AM
Truly, the joke is on Cleveland...with our silly, unconditional passion, our PSLs, our penchant for $8 Pabsts, and our orange jerseys pimping defunct players. Fucking Mike Holmgren saw us coming. Weak schedule and all, plus arguably the top pass defense in the AFC, but Big Show made certain we wouldn't be playing meaningful games in December by not signing a capable wide-out and letting an unqualified, offensively-impotent rookie HC call plays. The result was a 4-12 regression, featuring a winless campaign against our North rivals, that actually could've been much worse. The season's only signature moment was provided by Colt McCoy's super-clutch, game-winning drive against a very formidable Dolphin defense.
Speaking of signature wins, we've had just two in the past decade that were true testaments to the Browns' ability to compete with the league's juggernauts: the blowout victories versus the News: Orleans and England, anchored by McCoy, a power running game, and smart coaching. The proof is somewhere on DVD in Berea. Maybe in Holmgren's office, in between his Bill Walsh books, bottomless carton of dougnuts and whatever else he owns. But one thing Mike doesn't own? His failures. He blames the media. You blame the QB. If you've read me since week one, you know where I place the blame. And, until Mr. Lerner cans Holmgren, ain't nothing gonna change in these parts. Now go jerkoff your mock drafts. I've got a 4-3 basketball team to worry about.