Saturday, October 15, 2011

Vox Lox: Ten Vox Quickies


a sunday morning special

1. I wish I lived on the west coast. Mostly because I want the NFL to start at 10am. I hate waking up and waiting until 1pm.

2. In 1998, I randomly spotted Ric Flair signing autographs in front of the Nascar Cafe in Nashville. Sadly, I was lost at the time and never stopped to meet him.

3. El DeBarge once crooned "playing games is part of human nature." Of all the song lyrics I've quoted in my life, perhaps that one is the most apropro.

4. Pat Shurmur is just Chris Palmer, ten years later. I pray I'm wrong. Of course, I don't blame either coach. I blame Dwight Clark and Mike Holmgren for hiring them.

5. Between 1986-91, I was fond of misbehaving at movie theatres...although I was strangely opportunistic for my age. Looking back, I didn't just shout out stupid shit. I picked my spots, and usually entertained the majority of moviegoers. Am I proud of this? Not necessarily. But if you see me on the streets, I will happily give you a bird noise for nostalgia's sake.

6. I think Brett Favre's 4th quarter interception in the NFC Championship game two years ago was the biggest singular choke job in modern history. Worse than Buckner, who made his gaffe when the game was tied. I mean, all Brett has to do is play it safe and the Vikings are going to the SuperBowl.

7. I didn't care for Hillary Clinton while she was First Lady. But I steadfastly supported her in the 2008 primary, and now feel very vindicated that I made the right choice. I believe Hillary would've gone down as one of the best presidents ever with her tenacity, intelligence, diplomacy, knowledge of health care, and experience with scandal.

8. Last night, during Words with Friends, I played Vox on a triple-letter square for 30 points. I still lost.

9. I have limited athletic ability. OK, I have none. But I'm fairly certain I could've been a slightly-below-average NFL kicker.

10. Had a Sopranos-style dream that I was in a rowboat with Girl6, LA Woman, & Mrs. ExVox. Girl6 encouraged me to take the Browns on the money line. LA Woman advised me to pick the Broncos, not knowing they were on a bye week. Mrs. ExVox begged me not to bet. What's the significance, Amazing Larry? I don't know.

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Cowboys (+7) over Patriots, 3 dimes
Jets (-7) over Dolphins, 2 dimes
Saints (-4.5) over Tampa, 1 dime

Last Week: 2-1 (+1 dime)
Season: 11-5 (+4 dimes)

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Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 85-71-8 against the spread with his Vox Lox over three seasons. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at Cleveland Sports Torture.