Sunday, October 30, 2011

Vox Lox (8): Cleveland, city of fair-weather hypocrites

I miss the NBA. You don't.

A recent More Sports & Les Levine poll revealed 64% of voters don't mind if David Stern cancels the season. While this poll was no doubt unscientific, it's alarming when you consider Levine's audience is comprised of (so-called) Cleveland sports fans.

A Cavalier win in mid-January is often the only reason I know I'm alive during a Cleveland winter. But you're obsessing about the NFL draft.

I have to beg the bartender to please put on the Cavs' game. You're at the barstool to my left, happily consuming meaningless college football, Dancing with the Stars and Newhart reruns on three flat-screens in front of us.

I'm worried about Coach Scott's rotation. You're worried about banging foul chicks.

When LeBron fucked us on national television without even a phone call, he was carefully communicating that he does not care about the Cavs. Apparently, Cleveland, you don't either.

As much as you claim to hate LeBron, he was the reason you were a fan.

Now he's gone. And so are you.

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Detroit (-3) over Denver, 1 dime
Patriots (-3) over Pittspuke, 1 dime
Dallas (+3.5) over Eagles, 1 dime

Last Week: 1-1-1 (even)
Season: 14-7-1 (+8 dimes)

Pucky's Picks:
Patriots (-3) over Stillers, 2 dimes
Rams (+13.5) over Saints, 1 dime
Ravens (-13) over Cards, 1 dime
NYG (-10) over Miami, 1 dime

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Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 85-71-8 against the spread with his Vox Lox over three seasons. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at Cleveland Sports Torture.