Sunday, October 23, 2011

Vox Lox (7)


Since Carmen "Spin City" Policy headed west, the Browns have been just as bad off the field as they are on it. They are arguably the poorest franchise in professional sports when it comes to PR. Say what you will about Carm, but he got out in front when needed (insert joke about bottles/packing/wallop here). Mark Shapiro does the same for the Indians, even if his message blurs the line between pragmatism and propaganda. I thought President Mike Holmgren would encompass that role and, early on, he was smooth with the media. So what was Big Show thinking when he granted an interview request from a Seattle radio station before speaking with us? The Browns desperately need a voice of leadership, and Holmgren had been stunningly silent this season. Thankfully, he gave us a default press conference thursday, and seemed slightly put out. So tell me...would Holmgren have addressed the Cleveland media if he hadn't made the mistake of chatting with "Mitch in the Morning" on Seattle's KJR 950? Hell to the naw.

Our Senior Writer, Doug, wrote a stellar piece two days ago in mild-defense of Holmgren, highlighting the successes of GM Tom Heckert and Big Show's skill with mentoring QBs and franchise-building. But I'm no optimist when it comes to the Browns' figurative glass; in my eyes, it's not even half-empty...there's barely a goddamn drop of wine in that thing. You preach patience? I ain't got time for the game. See, Mr. Holmgren, once you decided to can an established coach showing small signs of progress in favor of a new offense with rookie Chris Palmer I mean Pat Shurmur at the helm (in what was assuredly a short offseason), you effectively lost the right to ask for patience. And once Coach Shurmur did his best to singlehandedly lose the home opener, you lost the benefit of the doubt. And, before I release my locks, answer me this my Browns brethren: Had the Scheduling Gods not granted us the winless Dolphins and the equally inept Colts without Peyton Manning, what would our record be right now? Yep. 0 and fucking 5.

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Browns (-3) over Seattle, 2 dimes
Cards (+3.5) over Pittspuke, 1 dime
Chiefs (+4.5) over Raiders, 1 dime

Last Week: 2-1 (+4 dime)
Season: 13-6 (+8 dimes)

Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 85-71-8 against the spread with his Vox Lox over three seasons. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at Cleveland Sports Torture.