Sunday, September 25, 2011

Vox Lox (3)

If nobody reads a column, does it actually exist? Since there is no real proof of his readership, Vox takes today off from writing. So he can focus on more important tasks like Words with Friends, crosswords with Mrs. ExVox, swear words with Mrs. ExVox, and nine (imaginary) frames with a lonely (internet) housewife (Abbey Brooks, anyone? Conveniently, without undergarments!). Truly, there are no words. But, what I lack in literary inspiration, I'll make up for with three winning strikes this week. The Gambling Gods, taking a short break from laughing their asses off at Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann and Wacky Rick Santorum, have reconvened to bless us with a turkey of oddsmaker errors:

Falcons (+1.5) over Tampa Bitches, 3 dimes
Niners (-2.5) over Bengals, 2 dimes
Saints (-4) over Texans, 1 dime

Last Week: 2-1 (+ 1 dime)
Season: 3-3 (-3 dimes)

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Who is the Vox?
SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 85-71-8 against the spread with his Vox Lox over three seasons. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at Cleveland Sports Torture.