Sunday, January 23, 2011

Vox Lox: Championship Sunday

Are you there God? It's me, Vox. I humbly ask You for a little intervention tonight. Doesn't have to be extraordinarily divine; just make Rapistberger a step slower on 3rd down, and that should be enough to help those arrogant pricks in green and white win a tight one in Pittspuke. We all know God hates Cleveland Sports, but that doesn't necessarily mean The Man Upstairs wants to see another Stiller SuperBowl.

I saw a lot of "nice" people dressed in black and gold yesterday...pumping their hard earned coin into some rigged slot machine at Salamanca's casino, so artfully positioned amidst the overwhelming landscape of the Alleghany mountains. God, I'm very aware that a Jets victory will send those good people back to their steel mill jobs on monday morning, depressed and inconsolable. And I'm OK with that. I want that fan base to feel pain, Clubber-Lang style. God knows, I'm a vindictive SOB.

Blessings aren't just for the ones who kneel, luckily

JETS (+3.5) over Pittspuke, 3.5 dimes
Packers (-3.5) over Bears, 6.5 dimes

Last week: 2-2 (-6 dimes)
Season: 34-37-3 (-12 dimes)

P.S. I don't want to be greedy, but please don't let that punk Braylon Edwards find the endzone. Injure him, if You must.