Saturday, January 10, 2009

Vox Divisional Playoff Pix

Good hire, Randy, good hire. I say this without knowing a damn thing about Mangini's coaching preferences. Similar to how I decried the foolish hiring of Romeo Crennel the day of his first press conference, the Vox intuition declares that the Mangenius era will produce more wins than losses and multiple playoff appearances. A few scribbles in the Vox notebook:

- Talkin' Terry Pluto suggests Mangini has no interest in being a celebrity; he only wants to coach football. Well how do you explain Mangini's appearance at The Vesuvio, Artie's Bucco's acclaimed Italian restaurant in North Jersey?

Artie: "Tone, you know who's in tonight? Mangenius."
Tony: "I should go say hello."

If he's OK with Tony Soprano, he's OK with me.

- Mangini and Mrs. Vox share a birthday on January 19. Coach is three years older.

- My middle name is Eric. That has to mean something. And more importantly, how long til I send out an email referring to Coach as Ric "Mahler" Mangini.

- Mangini, like the Vox, is a pizza bagel. Follow me, here-- Indians GM Mark Shapiro is Jewish. That means his sister must be Jewish. You know what I'm getting at. Even if Mangini didn't convert when he married Julie, I consider our new head coach to be a Jew by (reverse) injection. Doug, there may be a story here. Mangini, the first Jewish NFL head coach since Marv Levy?

- Mangini had a hand in drafting Nick Mangold and Vernon Gholston. I smell Malcolm Jenkins at #5. Please Eric!

- Mangini hates Belichick. We hate Belichick. Mangini taking the Jets job and then snitching on his mentor wasn't quite Tommy Gunn turning on Rocky Balboa or even Bo backstabbing Woody, but it was possibly the most compelling sports story of the millennium. I get the impression Eric would trade his first born to win a football game. And while I know it's just a game- and I make a concerted effort to ensure Cleveland Sports doesn't spill over into my personal life- I want to win right fucking now. And I want to win big. Romeo may have wanted to win as badly as I do, but he sure didn't show it. Now I don't need a coach to wear his emotions on his starter jacket...on the contrary, I prefer him to play it close to the vest. But every time I saw Romeo, I saw a blankness in his eyes. Similar to when Ryan ran into our old, toilet-clogging, high school friend at B-Dubs.

When I observe the Mangenius, I feel like his devious mind is always churning in search of that slight advantage to edge the competition. But it's going to be a mammoth task. The popular sentiment is the Browns have a lot of talent. They don't. There are only about three or four players on both sides of the ball that could start for good teams. We are still recovering from Dwight Clark, Pete Garcia and the NFL setting us up to fail because we were desperate for football and the Panthers and Jags became contenders too quickly. The first step will be permanently benching DA and playing smart every Sunday. And the Browns haven't played smart football in 20 years.


You want it, I got it. Go get it, I buy it. Tell 'em other broke brothers be quiet.

Panthers 28 Cardinals 17
Titans 20 Ravens 16
Giants 27 Eagles 26
Chargers 24 Pittspuke 20

The Vox Get it & Bet it Big Play: 2 Dimes on the Chargers at +6.5, our first playoff oddsmaker error. The money line is tempting, but I'll fight through that shit and take the easy points. Some books may give you 7 right before game time. Bet an extra dime if you can find the half point.

Last Week:
Overall: 2-2
Against the spread: 3-1
Against the Crookie: 1-0. As I stated last week, Philly was the only team I was comfortable enough to wager on. I won a dime when the Eagles covered. Should've been two dimes, but I gave one back when I parlayed the Eagles outright with the over.