Saturday, October 11, 2008

Vox in the Box (3)

Good heavens, the democratic process purports to champion equality, opportunity and integrity...but a few weeks before a presidential election, America is the land of ugly division. To quote Edward De Bono and William Howard Taft: "Politics, when I am in it, makes me sick." But I have an incredibly hard time ignoring You Decide '08, even though I know that my life won't change no matter who wins. I am truly a masochist; I can't pull myself away from WTAM, FOX and all the other neo-con outlets that I love to hate.

So when it came time for me to handicap this week's NFL slate, I felt a certain calmness sweep through me. For a few minutes, I could concentrate on something other than Washington and Wall Street. Even after my first losing week (I warned you it was coming), I'm finding solace in this column. Serenity hits the Vox in mysterious ways: smoking a Benson Hedges cigarette a bit past the gold circle, seeing Dora and Boots map their way through the Lost City, and finding the following oddsmaker errors:

Texans (-3) over Miami
This could be my biggest play since the Cowboys v. Browns in week one. Any 'capper can pick games when he's hot, but this week will really prove my worth as I'm coming off a losing week for the first time this season. I need to rebound before the losses start streaking on me, and the fact that Houston is winless and Miami has won two straight makes me salivate even more on this one.

49ers (+5) over Philadelphia
God bless San Francisco. I quote Andrew Dice Clay: "You can smoke a baloney pony, but not a fuckin' Marlboro?"

SamVox (+105) Going to His 15-Year High School Reunion over SamVox Not Going to his 15-Year High School Reunion

Last week: 0-1-1
Season: 6-3-2


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Who is the Vox?

SamVox is not a professional handicapper, but a premier one. He has been gambling his entire adult life and has experienced every sickening turn and nasty twist of fate that occurs during a football season. What distinguishes the Vox is his amazing intuition, astoundingly long memory, attention to detail and preparation, aversion to propaganda and access to the industry's sharpest bettors. He is a two time Pick'Em champion and went 20-12-2 against the spread with his Vox Pix in 2007. His critically-dismissed Vox in the Box column also appears here at clevelandsportstorture.blogspot.com.