Monday, January 30, 2006

Vox in the Box (4)


My column was late last week? And the topic had already passed? Jackasses, all. I will shit down your neck like a twelve-year old Corey Feldman. This space works for you. It can be all that you want it to be....but when I asked for Random Top 10 suggestions, I got zero replies. I'm facing a hard truth that there aren't too many people reading Vox in the Box. Those of you that are....well, we have to band together and take this small space to 5,000 hits a week.

So there are three things that just about everybody will always want to read about. In no specific order....the O.J. Trial, the JFK assassination, and any scandal associated with Vince McMahon. Let's just get my opinions on these topics out of the way right now. OJ's innocent. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Vince McMahon is a genius. OK, now we can move on to better things.

In case the next edition of Vox doesn't reach you by sunday....here's my SuperPick. Seattle is +150. Bet this month's mortgage payment on a Seattle win. Perception is reality in Vegas. The Steelers have a national following, and the oddsmakers need to make the Hawks a dog to get action both ways. Seattle 27 Pittspuke 19.

Here we go with another ridiculous Random Top 10--

Sam's Top 10 Websites
1. Chess.com: When I was twelve, if I couldn't get a game with my dad.....well, I could always play postal chess. WOW, times have changed. Stay away, trolls.
2. Google: Hours of fun. Settles arguments in seconds. The ultimate study tool. And yet, despite Goog's greatness, I'm just never feeling lucky.
3. iTunes: When I was younger and making my mix-tapes, I'd have a tape ready in the getto blaster and wait patiently for my song to come on. Hopefully I could hit record without missing the first note or catching the DJ's voice. Now I just buy the song for 99 cents. Beam it to my pod. Burn a CD maybe. Technology is ridiculous.
4. atu2.com: They've rejected every one of my contest submissions. They turned me down as a contributor. They ignore my posts. And yet @u2 is better than the band's own website. Matt McGee, don't ever let it be said that I'm not diplomatic.
5. Shall remain unnamed, but it's an outlet for, um, stress.
6. Twitter: What't that, you ask? Just you wait, friends. Just you wait.
7. PartyPoker.com: I love how PartyPoker.com disguises themselves as PartyPoker.net in their dumbass advertisements, proudly proclaiming they are NOT a gambling site. Guys, if you're not a gambling site...can you quit sending me emails offering me a 20% bonus on my next cash deposit?
8. clevelandsportstorture.blogspot.com: U R Here*. If self promotion is wrong, I don't want to be right.
9. ESPN's Page 2: This is where you'll find Bill Simmons, Chuck Klosterman, and some tolerable fiction by Jim Caple. The world wide leader may not have the most dynamic website, but they make CBSSportsline.com look like a fourth grader's school project.
10. RollingStone.com: I used to get my ya yas out there, until they shut down my profile, and then the boards. Our community sets up camp at probaords now, but rs.com was legendary three years ago. I went to Rock-n-Roll University there in 2001 and 2002. I failed out, but I still remember enough lessons to bust out a take and a rock lyric or two.

in france a skinny man died of a big disease
with a little name
by chance his girlfriend came across a needle
and soon she did the same
at home there are 17-year old boys
and their idea of fun
is being in a gang called the Disciples
high on crack, totin' a machine gun

Oh yeah. I am the Sign o' the times in the box.

later on for now; parting is inevitable